Monday, July 5, 2010

My Soap Box Is Getting Bigger

So there's something I need to get off my chest, so bear with me for a second... There, I got it. That beetle was really bothering me walking around on my shirt.

Let's get down to business, (to defeat the huns. Did they send me daughters, when I asked for sons?)

Seriously now. I'm tired and frustrated, so sorry if this makes no sense.

Dear (You know who you are),

I thought it was understood that what happens between us, stays between us. I guess I was wrong. Whether or not I'm doing something wrong is not for you to go share with people. I am not a part of that group anymore, and I'm never going to be. Someone I care about, who cares about me, asked me to do this. I said yes, because I love her. Not because I'm trying to fix things. Heck, things will never be fixed, I know that! For the past while I've been sick with stress because I honestly haven't wanted to go. But as of yesterday, I'm excited to go. I'm excited to say goodbye to all the cuties that make me smile. It'll be sad, but very relieving.

You always ask if you've done something to offend me, so consider this a yes. Yes you gosh darn have. The moment you started to tell people I'm a bad person was the moment you crossed the line. I'm done being pushed around. You're so nice to my face, then you go and back-stab me. Well guess what, I'm finished. I truly am.

Someone does something that I would have been in trouble for a year ago, and the rules change to accommodate them. It's totally okay that *blank* breaks a rule, it'll just change to make it look like she did nothing wrong. Well I'm not going to play that game. Rules don't just change like that. Unless given by the highest power, I don't think that works. Sorry.

Ya know, I haven't told anyone outside of my family, because it really isn't any of my business, but now I'm angry. I don't spend too much time alone with Nathan. We're always watching our siblings or running errands for our parents. We aren't out having sex every night or doing drugs or vandalizing things. We aren't out to skip church intentionally. We aren't teaching false doctrine. We are doing nothing wrong. Whereas *blank* sneaks out with her boyfriend. That's right, she does. I saw her do it one time against her father's wishes. I talked to her about it the next day, she just smiled and said "shhh." So tell me who is doing something wrong. It sure as heck ain't me!

So I've been writing about a double standard or two that I've seen going on in our neighborhood area. Little did I actually realize that it's because of a poor example being set. You of all people should know that that's wrong. You should know that getting in other people's business is wrong. Sharing other people's business is wrong. Then going and making it so that person seems like a bad person is even more wrong. It's no wonder no one likes me. You've probably gone and told them all what a bad person I am.

Yes, I'm angry, and yes, I know a blog probably isn't the best place to lash out at you. But it seems you have no problem telling people I have problems. So I'm letting everyone know you have them too. It only seems fair. Of course you do it in the privacy of an office, and in the good name of a certain someone. I don't really have that luxury. I can't privately call people and start saying this stuff because they might just think I'm nuts. But I know better than to say this is right. I know it's wrong, and I'm admitting it. I'm admitting that this isn't something Christ would do. Not that that matters to you, because I'm such a bad person anyway, you'll just add this to my list of faults. I know, though, that publicly announcing your faults is not my job. I know that someone else will "shout it from the rooftops." I'm just extremely angry, and what goes around comes around.

I hope you understand that this is my letter of resignation from this group. I would like to let you know that I'm moving on. Feel free to send my information to the next man. I'm not coming back.

Thank You,


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