Thursday, April 29, 2010

For every door that closes, another opens

Finals are finally finished! Holy freakin cow!!! I'm so so happy with that. Now I actually have time to do other things...like MORE HOMEWORK!! woo...

Graduation is in 29 days. That's 29 days to say goodbye to a lot of people. 29 days to plan for life outside of high school. 29 days to enjoy being in high school... only 29 days. It's somewhat sad. I've known a lot of these kids since kindergarten, now, after 13 years, it'll be all over. They'll be all gone! Yes, I know I'll make a lot of new friends in college, but the truth is... I never even got to know my old friends all that well. But it's too late now. We walk through that golden O (or through something for other schools) in less than a month. We move on in less than a month. one...month...

It's sad, but at the same time. It's super exciting. We're growing up. A new chapter is unfolding. We get to truly invent ourselves. I finally get to do what I want. I get to go make movies! I get to share things with people! Rachel gets to do what she wants! She'll get to be around a ton of annoying little kids all day! (jk, teaching elementary school is one of the greatest things a person could do with their life.) Brandy will get to share her music. Her magic will touch people and excite them. Same with Kayley. She'll get to spread her little musical wings and fly! Emily gets to go design houses--creating a chance for a family to form a home! Peter will get to go on his mission, then come back and rescue people. He'll finally get to truly (and literally) reach out to people to save them. It's amazing! All these doors open up to us as soon as we step through that O (or that other object)! All of our dreams will get to come true! Finally!

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

So bizarre

For those of you who don't know, I have a deathly fear of earthquakes. I almost had a melt down when Haiti was hit, then when Chile was hit I really freaked out. Then sadly Cali was hit and yea...I'm earthquake proofing my house this summer. Anyway, I hate earthquakes.

So the night before last (Monday night) I dreamed that I was on a cruise down eighth north. It was a REALLY bumpy ride because there was a storm coming (and this storm came with an earthquake because we could predict that kind of stuff). Our boat driver (who looked like he just got from an exploration of the jungle) told us to buckle up. I unfortunately didn't buckle up correctly. I was thrown from the cruise ship (which was like one giant canoe) and landed on my back in this massive field of dead grass. I looked up and there was a huge tornado. It was about three miles across. I got up and took off sprinting away from the tornado. I could tell it was headed south east, so I headed south west. Unfortunately it still got me. I curled up in a tiny ball and watched as everything around me got sucked into the massive funnel. thankfully I stuck to the ground. Even better, I woke up before the earthquake hit.

Then last night I dreamed that I was almost killed in a freak helicopter crash. I was standing on the lawn of the mortuary with mom and grandma when I heard a helicopter. It didn't sound right though. I looked up and there was this helicopter flying right at me...more like falling. It's blade on top wasn't spinning right. Mom and grandma were on the other side of the lawn and told me to run. I ran clearly out of the path. I was safe. Then the copter crashed. Pieces of it went EVERYWHERE. I unfortunately got caught in the debris. A piece of the blade went spinning into me and cut the side of my neck. My arms and legs were all completely thrashed from metal and pieces of glass. I called 911 but I passed out from lost of blood. I woke up five months later in the hospital. Grandma let me get this HUGE frozen yogurt in a waffle cone (which sounds really good right now). I would just be minding my own business when I would have flash backs from the copter incident. Thankfully I woke up.

I really hope I don't dream about a random tidal wave from Utah lake or something tonight...

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

5508

Burn
Kiss
Fall
Cry
Push
Listen
Pray
Run

*Cue Dramatic Music*

So I was thinking, wouldn't it be awesome if real life had music and sound effects such as those in "Sgt. Dead Head"? I think it would. I mean you have this constant orchestra playing some sort of song to fit your mood. The teacher says "Take out a sheet of paper--time for a quiz" so the orchestra plays dramatic music. Or you smack your head on something and you hear "BOOOOOING"! The best would be if you were swimming and the orchestra started playing the Jaws theme.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

ocean

Waves dance across the open plane
Miles and acres of ocean tides
pushing and pulling

Red as blood,
Soft as baby's skin
Equally untouched

Polluted and confounded
Broken by one
Broken and torn and destroyed.

Dance waves, Dance.
Don't ever stop
The moon won't love you if you do.

Don't stop
You can't stop
Each red drop must move

STOP

Cemetery

Ours
one kiss
one dance
no time

Mine
one hour
one touch
forever

His
one chance
one mistake
lucky

My time
His chance
Our Change

Friday, April 16, 2010

SLR Baby!

I got my new DSLR! It's a simple one, just a little rebel xsi by canon, but i LOVE it! When we went to Park City yesterday I got a little snap happy. I took over 300 pictures. I deleted some when I got home, so I ended up with 277... I love it! I don't care what I'm taking pictures of, I just love taking pictures! I love the feel of the camera in my hands. It feels better than holding a pen does! The sound of the shutter click makes my heart race. Zooming and focusing on whatever I please sends shivers up my spine! I love it! I live for it! It sounds incredibly cheesy, but I do! I feel like I'm holding something magical. I want to go take pictures of everything. I want to snap away at the world. I want to share parts of my world with someone else. I want people to see things they don't see, or see things they do see but in a whole new light. I want to take a million pictures and hand them to a million people and ask them what it means to them. I want to take pictures of everything I see right now and put them in a box so that my kids' kids' kids' kids can see what I saw sitting on my bed sluffing school.

I really couldn't have asked for a better gift. Now I just need photoshop... and more lenses, and a studio, and a gallery, and a name that's easier to pronounce so that people can talk about my photos without getting hung up on my name... Baby steps though...baby steps.

Movie Review: The Blindside

I didn't see this one in theaters only because I was busy. I wanted to see it, and thought it would be well worth the money, but I never got time. I finally saw it though, on DVD.

I vaguely remember the Daily Herald reviewer not liking this one, though I could be wrong. Either way, I loved it, and so did a lot of other people. I don't know if it was true to the story it was based off of, but it was great! I loved the way the story was told too. It seemed very realistic and not all dolled up for Hollywood's sake. The events were clear and all added to the story. There wasn't very much fluff at all. Every scene played a part in the story.

The acting was magnificent too (which could explain why Sandra Bullock got an oscar for it). I really loved how all of the actors had great facial expressions. Good facial expressions adds a lot to a movie. Their mannerisms were awesome too. It wasn't just actors saying things, it was them feeling them. It was pretty freakin awesome.

--I stopped writing this for a week or so because I got interrupted. Now i can't remember where I was going with it--

Anyway, this movie got an eight (there weren't graphics, so the story and acting were weighted more heavily). Brilliant performance. Amazing story. Perfect Directing.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Whoa

For the first time ever I read through the poems I wrote way back forever ago. I wrote them in 2007 apparently. I always thought it would drive me nuts to read things I've written, but surprisingly reading them didn't bother me too much. I saw a lot of places where I could change the poem to make more sense or sound better, but I liked them anyway.

I wrote them about people and events that were going on at that time. I don't remember most of them though. As I read them I pictured things happening now, or people I know now. All the poems I wrote about Danny from before apply better to Nathan. Or poems that I wrote about school and math class back then apply way better to my Ethics class or my English class. There are some from back then that I couldn't apply anywhere.

The one big thing I got from reading all this was an idea... for a wicked awesome addition to my story which I plan to make into a movie someday. =)

Monday, April 5, 2010

Rawr

Pretty much how I'm feeling. I have the worst writer's block. I'm writing this in hopes that something will magically pop open in my head and the dam blocking my writing-fluids will break. You would think writing a stupid research paper would be no problem... but it is a problem. a BIG problem. I've tried everything. I tried putting the essay off and working under pressure. Nothing. I tried doing other creative things, like scrapbook or take pictures. Nothing. I tried listening to music. Nothing. I tried working in silence. Nothing. I tried writing with the lights off, with them on, with my eyes closed, in my pajamas, after eating, before eating, after sleeping, while wide awake. Nothing nothing NOTHING!

This is frustrating. I have only a few hours left to write and I haven't gotten it yet. My teacher is going to eat me. I'll probably self destruct from not being prepared. This is driving me insane. I sit here and stare at my thesis and all I can think about is summer.

My thesis has nothing to do with summer, though. It has everything to do with drugs and rehabs and jails. But I look at it and think of my sisters, which reminds me of my other siblings, which reminds me of being outside, which reminds me of sun, which reminds me of summer, which takes my mind totally away. I start to remember memories of ninth grade, or of how obnoxious my siblings can be, or of lake powell. I start to imagine what this summer will be like. What school in the fall will be like. What cutting my hair will be like. Then I find that I've fallen asleep and my essay still needs writing.

It doesn't help either that I'm all irritable right now. This essay is probably contributing to the irritability. I just want things to get done. I want my hair to magically poof to how I want it. I want my room to poof clean. I want my essay to poof done. But none of that is going to happen.

I am so stressed... so so so stressed. *sigh*