Thursday, September 30, 2010

Q - Quilter

I definitely should have done someone else for D...and done Danny for Q. Now I'm all stuck. I guess I'll just write a tad more about Danny.

Dear Danny,

Why must you have a last name that starts with Q? Gosh darn you.

Thanks, though, for texting me and being rude once in a while. It really pushes me to be a better person and to be patient. When you talked to me just to inform that you don't read my blog, that helped me a lot, because now I see how far someone can go before I flip out at them. And it helped me to see what I need to work on in life. Still gotta work on that tolerance thing. One day I'll get it down. And then I'll run into you on the streets and I'll be able to smile and ask how you're doing. Until then...don't be a butthead anymore.

Sincerely,
Morgan

P - Peter

I was almost worried that I didn't have a friend whose name started with P...I would have had to make something up...after that oreo incident on the last post... =S

Peter, though, is one of those people that I feel more about rather than think about. In fact, Peter rarely crosses my mind, but often times, I'll see something and I'll remember feeling something about Peter. Oh gosh, now it sounds like I'm feeling icky romantic feelings for Pete...

Peter is a great kid. He really is. He makes me smile and always has some silly story or joke up his sleeve. He has a way of making every person he talks to feel special. Even if he's just saying hi to them. When Peter gives you attention, it seems like you're all he's thinking about. It's kind of intense really.

That intensity, though, will come in handy on his mission. I know, I was amazed too! Peter survived up to his mission?! How is that possible?! It's possible. =) And now he's going to go out to Japan and teach the gospel. That intense feeling he gives off when paying attention to someone will really be useful. The people he's teaching will feel like they're part of something, and that they matter. (unless of course Japanese people are different and might feel threatened by that... in which case, Pete, you're screwed.)

Peter going on a mission is amazing though, to be serious here. It really is. I'm really proud of him for making and sticking to such a decision. I can't imagine it'll be easy to leave his family and friends, but he's doing it anyway.

I'm really glad I know this kid. He's a great example of all sorts of things. He's a great friend to a lot of people, and that means a lot to me. Thank you, Peter for being as awesome as you are, and for doing what you feel is right, all the time. Thanks for being my friend, and good luck out there in the field!

O - Oreo cookie makers

Yea, I really couldn't think of anyone whose name starts with O... If I think of something better, I'll let ya know.

Oreo cookie makers, though, are pretty amazing people. I love Oreos! I could eat them non-stop. In fact I think I'll buy some tonight. They make my tummy hurt, but I still love them. =) Those cookie makers were really onto something when they made them. Whoever the creator was was a genius! If I ever meet that guy, I want his named tattooed on my back.

N - Nathan

If you plan on reading this, you should probably sit back and get comfy, it could be a crazy long post. Jk. I'll keep it short.

Nathan is the most wonderful boyfriend ever. We've had our rough spots, but who doesn't? We've always worked through them, and we're getting a lot better at that actually. I've learned a lot from Nathan. The biggest thing I learned was Love is not perfect. No matter how much we try to think it is, it isn't. Problems come up, and fights happen, but love, if it's for real, won't end over the small things.

Nathan taught me that love is patient. Like all those times I walked away from him because I was mad. He waited patiently for me to calm down. In return, I wait patiently whenever he gets stressed out and needs space. Sometimes problems take longer to work through and need help from other sources. We work patiently through those, together.

Nathan taught me that love is kind. He is the kindest boy I've ever met. Not just to me, but to everyone around me. Nathan does get frustrated with people, but he rarely shows it. He keeps it inside and tries to be polite to people. Nathan is beyond polite to me, and I love it. Even when I'm mad or I say something stupid, he still loves me and still treats me really well.

Nathan has been my best friend for the past few years, and I plan on those few years extending into...I dunno...forever. I love being around him, and I love talking to him, about anything. I just really love this boy. =)

P.S. I never ever do things like announce to the world that I love someone...so don't anyone take this and like...spread it around.

M - Michael

Dear world,

Today I'm writing about Michael S. Primrose. I'm writing because the letter is M, and because Michael is a big chunk of what I remember from Junior High.

I remember meeting him, in the summer. We both played viola (and this would be the last viola player I'll probably write about, I promise). I remember we went to school together in first grade. I remember we became friends pretty quickly. I also remember that with Koa's help, Michael was able to manipulate me into hanging out at his house. And that event changed my life entirely. It put me where I am today, at this desk, writing this post. I am not exaggerating.

One day I went to Michael's. Why? Because if I didn't he would tell people I liked Jack. Being a kid, that sounded horrible. So I went to Michael's. (I think deep down I just wanted to hang out.) At Mike's I met a lot of new people, those people became my friends fast and furiously. Those friends influenced my life in such a way that I can't explain. In this group of friends was Jessica, Emily, Danny, Justin (which led to me meeting Andrew), and Zak. Talk about a party, right? No matter how much I denied enjoying that experience, I loved it. I loved every second of it. "Now we'll take the chocolate cookie." "Uh...dude, that's a hamburger patty." I still laugh when I think about that.

After ninth grade, things got so weird. I don't even know what happened. At first all those confused events, well, confused me, and hurt me. Now that I look back on them, they don't. They've made me stronger, and gave me the desire to do what I'm doing now. The biggest and most important step I took was talking to Mike about it. What I said, I don't know. What he said, I don't know times ten! But Whatever it was, it was perfect. It's made me grow up a lot, and accept the world around me.

Mike taught me that the only way out, isn't down. There's also an up. Up and Out (like a glass elevator). Rising above instead of hiding below. That's what Mike taught me. He taught me these things by just being him and doing what he does best: learn. (Actually showing off is what he does best, learning is second.)

Thank you Mike, for everything. I hope your life goes well. I'll see you around sometime. When that time comes I'll probably hug you and thank you for being who you are. Good luck, buddy!

L - Lauren

Lauren Chung-Hoon. Boy I love that girl. =) I love how what you see is what you get with her. She isn't trying to change who she is or what she does just because someone else was doing it. "Everyone else is doing it" seemed to bounce off her. I really admire her for that. I've always looked up to Lauren, and always will. It's as simple as that, she is one of my greatest examples in life. Always will be. =)

This post is shorter, not because I don't like Lauren, but because I haven't talked to her in years. And what I remember of her is a lot less than you could believe. It's hard to keep memories in my head sometimes. I wish I could remember more, but I can't.

Thanks Lauren for being such a great example to everyone around you. Good luck in college! Love ya!

K - Kayley

Not going to lie, I debated on skipping K and coming back to it later. However, I am way to OCD to do that. I wanted to skip it because of a lot of raw feelings I still have.

I don't hate Kayley. Okay? Let's get that out there right now. I DO NOT HATE KAYLEY. Okay, now we can move forward.

A lot can happen in a short time. A lot did happen in a short time. I don't know what though. When I think about Kayley and all I feel for her right now, it feels like a huge chunk of my memory is gone. I don't remember what happened, or how it happened, or why it happened, but I know something happened. Have you ever had a word on the tip of your tongue and you just can't get it out? That's how this feels. It feels literally like something is missing. It makes all my raw, sore feelings feel useless and ridiculous. There is nothing keeping those feelings inside anymore.

On one hand it's really relieving, on the other hand it's really frustrating. What was keeping them inside? I guess it doesn't matter.

Kayley has always been one of my best friends. We used to get a long so well. In junior high she was there through a lot of weird experiences. We had classes together (which, by the way, made school a lot more fun). We ate lunch together. We talked. We were friends. Being around her always made me want to do better and be better. She was one of those friends that inspires those around her. Kayley is a great girl.

If I had to choose one thing to say to Kay, it would be, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for all those things I said and did, even though I can't remember them, I remember how hurtful and retarded they were. I'm sorry that I haven't said I'm sorry in person. I'm sorry I can gather the courage or might to do that. One day I will. One day, Kayley, I'll show up randomly on BYU campus and say I'm sorry. It might be sooner, it might be later, but it will happen. I promise. I owe you at least that much.

P.S. Kay, this is off my blog, which is why it sounds like it's addressed to someone else that isn't you. 

J - Jessica

The one thing I learned from Jessica that stands out in my mind is patience. When we first met, I don't think we really got along that well. I know I bothered her, and she bothered me. Yet, somehow, we're friends now. I don't know where that change happened, or what caused it, but I know that it required a lot of patience. Patience to wait out any stupid disagreement we got into. Patience to keep quite while she talked (even if I disagreed). Patience to wait for her to talk to me first. It really required a ton of patience. It probably required a lot from her too.

It's really hard to say much about Jessica. Not because she's lame, because she isn't. But because I feel more than I think (yes, this happens often with people). I feel like I love her like a best friend. I feel like she makes me smile. I feel like I can trust her. I feel like I'm glad I met her when I did.

From the first day I met her, I knew she was awesome. It's true. Jessica has always been awesome. She's really funny, and really talented. I love hanging out with her. I always laugh and have a good time. I'm jealous of her mad music skills, but that's okay. I'll survive.

It's because of those qualities that I didn't get along with her. I was jealous. Yup, I admit it, I was jealous. I don't know why. I think we just had similar personalities which caused a huge clash. We were both young, and kinda immature, which played a huge role in that too. We liked the same guys, which wasn't good. We both had a similar sense of humor, which sounds good, but it wasn't. We both craved the spotlight. I don't think too much has changed. I think that we've just learned to handle it better. We're more mature. Instead of flipping out we back off.

I know Jessica has done a lot for me just by being her. And I honest to goodness hope I do the same for her. If I had to choose one thing to tell her I would tell her that she's amazing, to hang in there and that I love her. (okay, that was three things, but who's counting?)

I - I

I am so conceited. =) I wanted to take this chance to just explain me a little more.

A lot of the time, I'm sarcastic. I'm trying not to be, but sometimes it just comes out before I can stop it. I enjoy being sarcastic though. That means sometimes I don't try to stop it at all.

If I don't like you, you'll know.

I grew up in a situation where I've seen all sorts of mistakes made. I've also seen every emotion to it's fullest extent. There is nothing you can throw at me that won't surprise me.

The one thing that matters most to me is family. My family is my life, and one day I hope to start my own family that I can love forever. I would be completely lost without each person in my family, including the ones way up in Idaho who don't ever talk to me. =)

If I could do things over again, knowing all I know now, I wouldn't change a thing. (As far as my life goes.) Knowing all I know now, though, I would definitely tell Angie to stop being so gulable and to not revoke what she said about Garison.

Everything seems so precious to me that I have a hard time with the food chain even. And If I were to think about meat too much, I wouldn't eat it. Everything in life is beautiful in it's own way, Everything from a broken stroller on the beach to a butterfly on a flower. Each and every creation is a masterpiece in it's own way.

 My favorite color is red, and if I weren't allergic, I'd eat ice cream for every meal, every day. =)

H- Heavenly Father

It's cheesy, I know. But this is the most important post yet. Why? Because without Him, none of the other posts would exist. I know for a fact that I am a daughter of God, and that each of these people that have come and gone in my life were put there on purpose. It wasn't some accident that I met Andrew when I did, it wasn't coincidence that I met Ben. The children in my life are in my life because they can teach me a lot. Everything happened with Danny to push me towards the path I'm on now. I was given to Grandma because she had so much to teach me. Each and every person has something to offer to someone else. Heavenly Father didn't just toss us out there like dice in Vegas. We got to meet people for specific reasons.

It might sound like God controls us. "Alrighty, Morg, time to meet Drew. You will learn patience from him!" But He doesn't. He gives us choices. I believe that each person we meet gives us a new opportunity. We can either choose to listen and learn from them, or we can ignore it. Either way, we set on a new path, a new journey. God gives us the tools to move forward whichever direction we may choose. This is truly the greatest thing our Father in Heaven could do for us. Oh sure, He could force us to learn something from someone, but then we wouldn't really be growing.

Emily N, and I chose to learn the lessons we did, and because of that we were able to help each other on the paths we wanted. Heavenly Father gave us the choices to make, and we made them, ourselves. From each of the people in my Alphabetical list (and many others) I've learned some important lessons, but all the lessons boil down to one fact: it was because of Heavenly Father that I met that person.

It makes it a lot easier to be around disagreeable people when I think about what I could possibly learn from them. I can be a little bit more patient or a little more understanding. Heavenly Father gave me the chance to meet all these people in the hopes that I would learn something from each of them. I hope that I was placed specifically in each persons life, as well, to teach them something.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

G - Grandma

Of course G is for Grandma. Who else would it be for?

My grandma is the most amazing lady out there. I know everyone says that about their grandma, and every one is right. Their grandma is the most amazing lady out there in their life. I think it's because we are a part of our grandma, and she manages to bring out the best in us in a way that is unique for us. The world would go nowhere without grandmas.

My grandma in particular is awesome, though. She does so much for so many people. She has at least nine people to take care of at home, and another 7,000 at work. Rarely ever does she give little or nothing when helping someone. When helping someone, she gives them her full help and attention. She helps them to the best of her abilities whether they be 45 and still living at home, or 2 and learning to brush his teeth. Grandma knows how to help many different people of all sorts.

She also has a great love for knowledge. If there is something to be learned, she wants to learn it. She reads things on everything from mummies in Egypt to bunnies in Canada, from new scanners created for hippo ultrasounds to new foods that will make everyone happy. I love how she loves to learn. I love to learn with her. I love to hear her talk about some new recipe or the new technology. It's so much fun to have someone in my life who is so interested in everything.

My parents haven't done a whole lot in my life, but the best thing they've ever done was leave me with my grandma as a kid. That has shaped my whole life and the way I view things in this world. I love my parents, and I know they love me because they let me live a normal life with my grandma. =) I love you grandma!

F - Fred

Honestly, I don't know how the name Fred came about. I don't remember why I called him that, but whatever the reason it's stuck with me. Fred = Koa.

Koa was one heck of a friend in Junior high and high school. I really enjoyed being his stand partner for all those years. He kicked my trash at viola (probably because he practiced more). Then again he's always been one of those freak genius boys in all his classes. That's the quality I admire most in him. His intelligence and ability to learn. I wish I had that gift. I might have it, but not in the way Koa does.

Koa seems to be able to retain a lot of information which usually floats out of most peoples minds. How he holds it all in, I don't know. Maybe he's just really dedicated, or maybe he's got a photographic memory. Either way, he's brilliant. Over the years, that's what I've learned from him, or rather, that's what he's helped me gear my life towards. I want to work hard. I want to get good grades. I want to be the brilliant one. (And someday I'll freakin beat Koa in that department.)

Not only is Koa smart, but he's funny too. When orchestra was boring, or I had a rough day at school, he would throw a joke out there and get a smile out of me. He made long rehearsals fun and rough days easier. Thanks Koa

E - Emily

Emily, Emily, Emily. What to say about Emy. =) There's a lot to say about Emily.

Actually, I know exactly what I want to say. I want to say that Emily is awesome. When I first met Emily, I was going through some tough times. I wasn't the happiest camper in the woods. I kinda felt like no one really understood what was going through my mind. I felt a lot of things that were really bizarre even to myself. What was even more bizarre (now that I look back) is how Emily knew exactly how I felt. Not always the bad things either. When I felt like I had some spiritual revelation Emily knew what was going on. I say that was bizarre because Emily never went through the same things as me. I was looking back on all of those times when I would tell Emily how I was feeling and it amazes me that two people that came from two totally different backgrounds could relate so well.

We used to say that we were spirit twins. Both sent down here to understand each other and help each other through the rough years. When I stop to think about it, I realize that it makes no difference whatsoever where I person grows up or what the physical conditions are. We both grew up on the same foundation: The gospel. The Lord knew exactly what He was doing. He gave Emily and I similar spiritual experiences so that we could understand each other. It didn't matter that the experiences were wrapped in different physical packages. It only mattered what we each learned.

Sometimes I feel like Emily spent more time helping me than I did her. Now that we're older and in college it kinda seems like I can't help her. But if I ever get the chance, I'll help her in a heartbeat, no second thoughts. I love Emily, and I hope that wherever life carries her she'll remember how amazing she really is.

D - Danny

I think I'll finally get this post written. It's taken me five tries to get it down. I think it'll come out this time. This time I might actually think of something to say. I've been debating on leaving this blank. There's so much I could say, but probably won't. There's a lot that I shouldn't say, but I might. There's just a lot of feelings and thoughts when it comes to Danny.

Unlike Ben, and Andrew, I think more than I feel about Danny. I used to feel more, but I just don't anymore. I think he's a good kid at heart, and that someday he'll figure things out. I also think that he's got a lot of drive in him. Danny thinks and feels things entirely within himself. Of course there are times when people or events bother him or make him happy, but for the most part, it's all inside. Danny is also one of those kids that everyone likes to be around because he's always so happy. These are some of the things I think.

When I say he's got a lot of drive I mean he really works for what he wants. When Danny wants something, he'll get it. He might have to work hard for it, but he'll get it. If I had to choose one thing to love about Danny it would be his drive. After talking to him about what he wants in life it made me want what I want more. I saw that drive could get me places, places I want to be.

Another thing about Danny is how his emotions are entirely contained inside of himself. I don't mean he doesn't show them (which he doesn't do much of either, actually). I mean that when he wants to be happy, he makes himself happy. I admire that in him. Of course this comes with problems because he tends to forget that other people are affected by what he says. Sometimes he says things then realizes he's said too much or hurt someone's feelings. One day he'll realize this, and then he'll be good to go. But until then, I still admire him for how he can just make himself be happy even when life is rough.

Because he can make himself happy, people tend to like Danny. He smiles and tells jokes, even though he's pretty shy, and everyone around him loves it. He probably doesn't see it, but it's there. It's his charm. He's charmed a lot of people, and he probably didn't even know it.

There is a lot more I could say about Danny, but really, those things aren't important. The past is the past, right? It is what it is, and Danny is a good kid with a lot going for him.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

C - Children

I was going to name specific children for this one (Chan, Cam, and Charlie) but then I realized that there are a few more that I would be leaving out.

Each kid in my life is so different from each other. One might love to dress up (Bean) while one enjoys building train sets (Brax). It's fun to watch them learn things, and understand more. It always catches me off guard when they say something new or show me something they learned.

Bean always surprises me every day with something new. Today, for example, he kicked Chan out of my bedroom by saying "Hey! Big Bro get out of my house! Out! Out! Out! Now!" It was so clear and so funny. He got that from Mak playing house so much.

Brax loves to share what he learned at school. The other day he gave me a lesson because I forgot all my kindergarten knowledge apparently. He taught me that no matter what, I must circle the A's. No other letter, Just the A's.

Chan, Charlie, and Cam are all the same age, but so very very different. Chan is really into scouting, and has always been the observant child. Cam has always been the outspoken child. She loves to show off and perform. (Even though I haven't seen Cam in years, I know she hasn't changed.) I haven't known Charlie for too long, but he's a quiet, silly kid. He's always crackin' jokes he's heard on TV (again, and again, and again). All three kids are really sweet and sensitive in their own ways. And I love all three of them.

Mak. Boy oh boy, what isn't to love? She's the cutest little girl. Her tagline? "I'll have it!" Her favorite joke? "Morgan, you're short!" She loves to dress up and do her hair. She also loves to do my hair. When she was first born, when I was seven, she immediately became my little friend. If I could I would go back to being her age just to hang out with her (without going crazy).

Tylar is Mak's age, but she's so different. She's so much quieter, and just so different. I know she likes a lot of the same things, but she's just different. I can't wait to get to know her better! And trust me, I will!

Rick...haha, Rick. he is so not a kid anymore, but he's still my younger brother, so I'll consider him a kid until he turns 18 (in three years). He is such a punk, I love it. Like Ty, I can't wait to get to know him better!

I love all the kids in my life. And I always will.

B - Ben

B is for Benjamin Barton (which actually would get me double points in Scattegory).

Like with Andrew ( post letter A), I don't think much about Ben. I feel things about him. Ben is one of those friends that people always wish they had, as far as a guy/girl friendship goes. When we were a bit younger he always made me smile. I really enjoyed hanging out with him because I knew I'd forget my stupidness and just relax. I doubt he realized he did that, but he did. He's always had a way of making me feel relaxed and better.

Now that we're older and going to college he's still there. Ben goes through his share of problems in the week, but he still listens when I'm having a hard time. Not only does he listen, but he gives me the chance to listen to him, and that means a lot to me too. It makes me feel like I actually matter to someone out there.

Ben has this certain innocence to him. He could say something that someone else has already said, but it comes out differently. He's always claimed he isn't what I see him to be, and he could be right, but there's still something about him. Being around him feels very different than being around anyone else. It's not a bad thing, it's just different. 

Out of all the friends that have come and gone in my life, I've always wanted Ben to stay in my life. I don't want him to be as more than a good friend, but I definitely don't want him to just disappear. Thank you, Ben, for being such a good friend.

P.S. After writing this post, I remembered something else. Poetry. If I had had it my way, I would have ripped up all my poems and thrown them out. I would have let that part of me go. But Ben didn't let me. That meant a lot to me. It kind of opened my eyes as well. It makes me laugh too, just remembering all that. I doubt Ben still has those poems, but that doesn't matter.

A - Andrew

I just realized how many people I know who have a name that starts with A. I chose Andrew first without even thinking about it. Clearly he really left a mark on me.

I don't know what to say really. Most of the things I think of Andrew are feelings. That sounds really...weird. But it's true. I don't think anything about Andrew. I feel things about him. I always have. I've always felt that there was more to life than what's happening right now when I would talk to him. Not in a cutesy way. I felt that there was more to life because to Andrew, there was more to life. He showed that by being who he is. There were a lot of times in Jr. High when I felt like I didn't want to keep going or something. Then I would talk to Andrew, about anything, and I felt like I could push through the retarded phase.

That was the most retarded paragraph I've ever written, but I can't think of how to say everything I feel. My feelings aren't romantic ones, or evil ones. I don't love him like that. I don't hate him for any reason. I admire him...I think. That's the closest thing I can think of. Andrew has always been one of those kids that I looked up to, and the memories I still have will always be ones I look up to.

There were a lot of times when I saw him being genuinely sweet to someone. These were times when he showed he really cared about someone who was having a rough time. Even though those times probably weren't for me to see, I still thought they were beautiful. I can't recall who Andrew was with, or what he said, I can only remember how I felt watching them (or hearing about them after). And those are feelings I'll never forget. So thank you Andrew. Thank you for being the boy you are. I know we aren't friends now (even though that would be wicked awesome if we were), but I'll never forget you.

Alphabetized

I'm a thief. Let's just get that out now. I didn't come up with this idea. I stole it off of someone else's blog. Well, sort of. The other blogger is just writing blog posts about things in her life, alphabetically. I'm going to write about a different person (or people) with each letter. Because this is alphabetically, the order I write the posts in does not indicate who I like more, or who is most important to me. I just thought I would get that out now.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Looking Up

Today is looking up. I did a lot of studying, which usually makes me feel better, because it puts me ahead. I read a few screenplays, which are getting easier for me to follow. Reading them is nothing compared to seeing the movies, but I really enjoy doing that. I like seeing these things on paper, and then seeing them on the big screen (or maybe not, as most of the ones I've read are rated R). Oh, that's another thing, movies that are rater R don't have rated R screenplays. They don't go into detail about things. So if there's a really bad scene (say murder or sex) it just says "Duncan was covered in someone else's blood." That is pretty nasty, but I have the choice to picture it or not, and I choose not to. Screenplays still swear, but I've gotten pretty good at editing as I read.

It wasn't just studying that's helped me calm down. Nathan stopped in, and that really makes me smile. I love when he drops by to say hi while I'm at work. We can't do much talking, but it's still nice to see him.

mm

I'll just come right out and say it, I am not in a good mood today. Everything is irritating me. This stupid clicky keyboard bothers me, the cold air bothers me, my hair bothers me, my shoes bother me, this stupid mouse cord that keeps getting stuck to my leg bothers me. EVERYTHING bothers me. I just want to go home and go back to bed, but even that sounds bothersome.

I'm extremely frustrated. I was going to post about the pack meeting last night, but I'll probably end up getting frustrated at that for no reason. Today is not a good day. Maybe seeing Nathan after work will make it all better.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

The Copy Room

Many magical things happen in the copy center (and by magical, I don't mean dirty).

Gaining a new appreciation for the retarded copy machine was the first magical thing that happened. I stood there, waiting for eighty two copies of three papers to come through. They needed to be double sided and stapled. I stood there thinking "boy this takes a long time" for five minutes. Then I realized, no wait, this doesn't take a long time. Making copies like that could take a lot longer. Imagine having to make that many copies using just the printer? Or handwriting them? Or even a typewriter would take a long time. Sending the pages through a copy machine did not take a long time. Now I love the stupid copy machine (but I will probably still continue to hate it just because sometimes it doesn't work right).

The second magical thing that happened was my photo teacher, Reese, told me that I am way too advanced for the class I'm in. He told me that I already know it all, so I should test out of it and move up to the next class. It's true though, I already know everything he's teaching me, so it gets boring. But the fact that he said it was amazing! He also said that Ms. Tuttle told him I was a great photographer, which means I stood out in her mind as well! How awesome is that?!

Yes, the copy center is a magical place, full of broken, but efficient copy machines, and teachers who think I'm awesome.

Poetic Justice

Fluttering eyelids
on the edge of dusk.
The setting sun
coloring the grave.
Rosey pinks
in child's joy.
Musky blues
in saddened tears.
The end of a day
The end of a life.

Drops of Jupiter Conundrum

I have answered my question, much like President Reagan answered national questions during his candidacy. "If it came to that, I would look at ALL my options."

The problem is this: If your best friend is wrong, do you stand up for your friend or do you stand up for what is right?

At first, when thinking about this, I thought it would depend on the situation. I thought it would matter what the "wrong" was. But then I got thinking deeper, and in reality, I would always stand up for what's right. I wouldn't tell my friend to hit the road, but I wouldn't join them either. I would try to get them to see the right way, and if that didn't work I would move on and let it go. I will never ever leave a friend over them doing something wrong (to a point), but I wouldn't stand up for them doing bad things either.

That is my final answer.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Drops of Jupiter

First off, Jupiter is going to be the closest it's been to Earth since 1951. So get your telescopes out for the rest of the month!

Second, I was listening to Pandora and the song Drops of Jupiter came on. Somewhere in the lyrics is the line "you're best friend stickin up for you, even when I know you're wrong." That sent a train of thoughts barreling through my mind. They all came to an end at the question "Is it better to stick up for a friend no matter what, or to stick up for what's right?"

Well, which is it? It's important to be a good friend, right? But isn't it equally important to stand up for what's right? Now this is going to be on my mind all night... I'll figure it out, and I'll let you know my answer.

Tidbit film

so guess what!
I said guess!
Okay okay, I'll tell you. I'm gonna work with Sam (my film friend) to make a VERY short movie for the LDS international film contest. I'm really excited for this. We have until January to make the movie (by movie I mean eight minute tidbit).

He's an RM, so he's really into this whole "bear your testimony" thing. Which is awesome, don't get me wrong. It's just that I like to do things differently. I like to show rather than flat out say "this is how it is!" So step one will be to find some middle ground. Then we can move on...oh my goodness! I just had an idea!

look in the mirror

Look in the mirror
Nothin' but a brick wall
Emotions stand solid,
Then tremble and fall.
Pulling you down
faster and faster
Can't get a grip on reality
Grasping and fighting
For what you can't reach
Holding
Slipping
And tripping down
and endless road

Monday, September 20, 2010

faded paint

Empty inside
the painted walls
that hold captive
the soul of creation.

Faced with
untrue truths
from all sides
from each corner

Like the
faded paint
on the surface
chipped and worn

Cracks split
Through the color
and steal the beauty
of the sky

Sunday, September 19, 2010

My name is Morgan

And I'm a shopaholic.

Like most addictions, it came on without me knowing. I bought a shirt here, a pair of pants there. Then gradually it started to control my life. I got a job, just for the money. I got my first paycheck and I wanted to spend it. I'm having a hard time not spending it. I'm saving up for a car, but it's becoming really hard to do that. I spent thirty bucks on two books (in my defense they will help me progress in my career). I just ordered a thirty dollar shirt! Something is really not okay with this situation.

It's hard to say no when the store is full of such adorable outfits. I mean, this isn't a problem when I go into stores like Forever 21, etc. (You know, those stores that have near naked mannequins that look like oversized barbies.) It's only a problem when I go into a certain store. It's like my drug of choice. I see all the pretty shirts (which I really do need), and all the jackets with ten pockets each (I'm a sucker for pockets), and the corduroy pants. It drives me crazy! I just want it all. And I can afford it all...if I don't want a car.

It's kinda hard to keep this goal of a car in mind. I ride the bus, and that's just fine with me, but winter is coming... and I'll want a car next summer. Just right now I want clothes! Ugh! this is just so hard.

Thank you.

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Honestly?

Honestly, I just don't care. I'm pretty tired of "friends." I'm tired of smiley faces and turned up noses. I'm tired of hellos with endless goodbyes. I'm tired of hearing one thing and seeing another. So guess what? I don't care. I don't care if you sit there and smile at me while whispering out of the side of your mouth. I don't care if you say hi just to look good for your friends. I don't care if you have "good intentions" because really the thought only counts in bought gifts. I don't care if you want to hate me. You can hate me in secret, or openly. You can write it in your diary or post it on the web. Either way, I. Don't. Care. I have friends. Friends that don't just smile politely. Friends that don't walk out on a rough day. Friends who pat me on the back when I do something good, or laugh at me when I trip down the stairs. I have real friends. So feel free to freely feel. I'm headed on a rough road upward, and my friends are going to be there every step of the way. I'll be there to pat them on the back, help them up from a fall, or take a little extra time to work through something. Why? Because it matters a lot to me when someone treats me like I matter. I do matter. If you have a problem with that, you can just move on. There is nothing left for you here.

P.S. when I make it to the top, I won't forget you. I'll just be "too busy" to say hi. Sound familiar?

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Internships and Fairs

So I just got an email from someone asking for student hosts for these people who are offering internships and careers to people. (A student host would just run errands for the employers on campus. AKA "slave runners") At first I was like "No way, I'm busy enough!" Then I thought about it a second, and read the email again. The email had a list of benefits for working as a host (it sounds like the employers are going to feed off of us, my gosh). Among the benefits was something along the lines of working with these employers and making connections. After reading that, I thought, "Hey, connections are good." So I checked the list of employers planning on attending. On the list were Disney, and The LDS Church (among other boring things like Aflac). In case you missed it, DISNEY and THE LDS CHURCH will be at this gig!

Let's take a flash back moment: Big goal: Internship with a major studio or director/producer/screenwriter
Goal I just came up with at work: Enter LDS Film festival
. Remember that post? (It's almost like a movie with advertising [movie term, don't worry about it if you don't understand]).

This is perfect! Internship with a major studio or producer: BAM! Disney!
Enter LDS film festival (and make LDS films): BAM! The Church will be there! (oh, I forgot to interject that the Church had a specific listing looking for audio and digital cinema people.)

Seriously, this is almost too good to be true. I can't believe it! I think I want to do this pretty badly. I would probably need to miss an hour of work, which I might be able to work out... I hope. I don't know if I can do it, but I think I'll go to the meeting I was emailed about and see if I can do it.

=) (x10)

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

On the A track

Remember when I talked about the ridiculously hard film class I'm in? And how I want an A in that class really badly? Well, I have made it a step closer to that A! Yesterday in class my teacher said he is impressed by how much I know, and he even knows my name. Out of the seventy in that room, he knows MY name! That is a really good sign.

I am a bit behind on reading the textbook though, so I need to get it read as soon as possible.

This is going so well! (knock on wood)

Monday, September 13, 2010

Family

I just want to let everyone know that I love my family and that by saying family  I'm not limiting that to the people in my house. I love all of my sisters, all five of them (Angie, Jentry, Chelsea, Jessie, Tylar). I love each of my brothers, (Josh, Rick, Chan, Derek). And I love my nieces (Lou and Mak) and I love my nephew (Brax) and I love my parents. And Grandma, and Ashley, and Amber, and anyone else I didn't name specifically (including Nathan's family). I know that's a lot of people, but I love them all. If given the choice of hanging out with my friends or my siblings for one day, I'd definitely pick my siblings. =)

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Picture Perfect Reality

One third to the right
Two thirds down
pixel by pixel
The hem of a white gown.

In the middle
Centered in the frame
Four hands; two rings
Golden love: a burning flame

One third to the left
In the top square
A young man's smile
Beneath his curly brown hair

Thousands of pixels
of timeless love
not just on Earth
but now sealed above.

Lace

Caught in the hole
between time and space,
Knitting events
creating a lace.

A cloth soul-woven
by memories of you;
A pattern so delicate
only the knots hold true.

Each knot tied
and bound by grace.
Thinking of you
I wrap myself in lace.

Goal setting

Big goal: Internship with a major studio or director/producer/screenwriter
Goal I just came up with at work: Enter LDS Film festival

So at first I thought I wanted to work with Universal, or some studio like that, but now I'm thinking I want to work with some Mormon studio. I've always wanted to make Mormon or Christian movies, so I was thinking that maybe interning with Hollywood wouldn't work. Everyone knows Hollywood might as well be Hell for as much crap as they put in their films. So working in Hell might not help in making movies that inspire people to work towards Heaven. See where I got that?

On the other hand, big name studios usually produce big award movies, and that's what I'm aiming for. Not necessarily the awards, but that quality of film. I want people to watch it and go "did that really happen?" I want people to be in awe at the story and the world of the film. I don't want people to go "hahah, so true! We're ridiculous!" Like they do for Singles Ward.

So what do I do here? I wish there was some movie maker that was Mormon, or at least Christian, that was amazing. Then I would work my tail off to get in with him. But unfortunately I don't know anyone like that. So I...wait, who made the Joseph Smith movie? And those films they show on Temple Square. Who is he, and where can I find him?

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Never Let Go

Never let go
and never look back.
Think of the future
hang on to the past.
Always together,
never alone.
Believe in the stars,
reach for your best.
You and me,
a cut above the rest.
Nothing to lose and nothing
to fear.

Leave Out All The Rest




"Leave Out All The Rest"

I dreamed I was missing
You were so scared
But no one would listen
Cause no one else cared

After my dreaming
I woke with this fear
What am I leaving
When I'm done here

So if you're asking me
I want you to know

[Chorus]
When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed

And don't resent me
And when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory

Leave out all the rest
Leave out all the rest
[End Chorus]

Don't be afraid
I've taken my beating
I've shed but I made

I'm strong on the surface
Not all the way through
I've never been perfect
But neither have you

So if you're asking me
I want you to know

[Chorus]
When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed

Don't resent me
And when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory

Leave out all the rest
Leave out all the rest
[End Chorus]

Forgetting
All the hurt inside
You've learned to hide so well

Pretending
Someone else can come and save me from myself
I can't be who you are

[Chorus]
When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed

Don't resent me
And when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory

Leave out all the rest
Leave out all the rest

Forgetting
All the hurt inside
You've learned to hide so well

Pretending
Someone else can come and save me from myself
I can't be who you are
I can't be who you are

Monday, September 6, 2010

Whispers

Whispers from the past
Calling out from the dust
Cries of help and hope
Tears of love and lust

God's land forsaken
Sinners revolution
Saints' souls lost
in false solution

Memories appear
As ghosts in a mist
A life now lost
and hard to resist

Laughter and Longing
Hope in a living Hell
Sinners and Saints
all have a story to tell.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

That last post

Whoa, I have no idea where that last poem came from, but it felt great! I'm in love with it. I want to marry it. jk, I don't want to marry it, but I want it in the form of a photo. That's my new goal, you are all witnesses to my new goal: I am going to get a version of that in real digital form (which isn't going to be as cool seeing as the poem is analog, but whatever). When I get the picture, I'll post it on here. It might be a while...but it'll get up here!

Ripples

A ripple in a pond
breaking a reflection
of what could be
a mirror of what isn't
a view you can't see

A pause in the wind
a beat amidst time
starring us down
with whispers of love lost
hope without sound

A shooting star

A glimmer of hope
In the night sky
Here and then gone
Without a goodbye

A chance to be seen
In but a second of light
Whizzing right by
creating a magical night

As fast as it comes
It goes again
Wishes blown out
And carried away by the wind

unkept promises

In then out
Here and there
Around, but gone
Truth in lies
Everything and nothing
Yes and no
Offer and Deny
Unkept promises...

Hope...

Hope
That tomorrow will come
Faith
That the sun will rise
Dream
of that which is hard
Love those around you
Befriend
No one