Thursday, February 24, 2011

Time traveling for the purpose of modesty

Please, step right up. Take a trip through time! Please, watch your head as you step into my time machine.

Let's set the time to...1800. Ready? Hold on tight! 

Don't worry, it always makes that sound. For the sake of time, we aren't going to leave the machine. It would take too much effort to round you up again. Let's just pretend this is a people watching safari. Notice how everyone is dressed, particularly the female of the species. Note the long dresses that also come up around their necks. Notice how all wrists are covered and all ankles are securely hidden away. 
Oh! Look over there! In that shop window! A very beautiful, yet sophisticated dress! 

Look how much it would cover! It would be simply smashing if I were it to the upcoming ball! Maybe I'll come back for it when I have time! Right now, we need to dash off to the next century. Early 1900's. 

See, I told you it always makes that sound. 

Continuing on our people safari, you may notice that it is summer time. Look at all those women on the beach!

Look how they're just soaking up the fun and sun. One thing you may want to make a note of is their bathing suits. Notice how we can't see their stomachs, nor can we see their breasts hanging out of their tops. I wonder if men find that attractive--oh wait a second, if they didn't find this attractive then I wouldn't be here! Duh! For a second there I forgot that showing skin isn't the only way to attract a male. 

As much fun as this is, we need to be moving on. Let's jump up to 1980, three decades ago. 

Don't worry, that gets less annoying the more you ride in this beast. 

Oh gosh, I feel like I've stepped into the play-doh factory. Why is everything neon colored? Does anyone else need sunglasses just to look at the people? 

Let's try to look past the funny colors and focus on the people. Oh, Look! Normal colored people! Quick! Pull out your camera! They're posing!! Thanks to our futuristic digital cameras, we can see the picture I snapped. 

Hmmm, this is quite the contrast from the dress we saw in 1800. Look at all their ankles, they ought to be ashamed. Although, that appears to be the least of their worries. I can see 90% of one gal's legs, and 90% of another gal's upper half. 

Let's stop and think for a moment. You're alive, right? You have parents, right? And they have parents? And they have parents? And they have parents? And they have parents? Back in 1800, a man fell in love with a woman. I imagine the woman was dressed in a dress similar to the gold one that we saw. They passed in the street, or danced at a ball, and the man saw the woman's face. Her eyes sparkled, reflecting small bits of gold from her dress. He hair framed her cheeks beautifully, and the man became infatuated. They courted, and every time he saw her, she was wearing gown after gown that emphasized the beautiful color in her cheeks and eyes. Eventually, they were married and had children. 
Jumping ahead one century, the great-great-great-great grand daughters of that couple went to the beach. They wore their cutest swim attire, and laid out their blankets. They snacked on carrots and lathered up in sunblock. Their legs, from their knees down, got tanned perfectly. Their faces were protected by their umbrellas and hats. Men walked by and whistled at their gorgeous faces. The women winked and giggled. Later one of the men would ask one of the women out. When they went on their first date, she wore a skirt that came down past her knees, and a shirt that let a small portion of her collarbone peek out. This outfit revealed a lot less than her beach attire, but the man didn't notice. All he saw was her pretty face and winning smile. Sometime down the road, the two got married and had children. 

Those children had children who had children who had children who posed for our pictures. The women walk down the streets, strutting their stuff. The men follow. The women hike up their skirts to reveal a little more leg than the gal next to her, who responds by showing a little more cleavage. The men eat it up. The woman who bares the most skin wins the grand prize of a greedy man! They bare children which we will now see in the nineties! 

maybe next time you should bring earplugs. 

Let's look at the women of the nineties (don't worry, I grew up then too...).

These guys must be used to posing for people, they bring their own backdrop! (I knew actors were good for something!) The gal in the red has more leg showing than I have in height! And that looks conservative compared the the blond. What's sad is, in 1990, 4.7 marriages in every thousand ended in divorce. That's 4 more than necessary. The poor couple that got together in 1980 probably ended in divorce... 
The divorce rate for 1800 was 0 in every thousand. In 1900 it was less than one (how that works, I'm not sure). It seems there is a trend. The more skin revealed, the more divorce rates increase. Let's move on to 2000 and see if the trend follows. 

Remember this decade? I do, well sort of. I remember that it was the decade with the most head injuries...for me. 
Let's observe some strangers now, shall we? Oh look! Prom season! That must be the prom court from this year. 

The first thing we may notice is how the girl in the green looks like a genie. Her dress is actually in two pieces. The girl next to her is missing the back of her dress. The girl next to her is revealing more cleavage than should be physically possible. The girl in the white also has a two piece dress, but you can only see her back revealed. The girl next to her is also half genie. 

It seems that for each inch of length, they took out an inch of torso coverings. This would work out if they were taking those inches from excess areas and making the dresses simply fit better. Instead, it seems, they've taken the most they could from places that you don't need to take it from. 

These girls are showing more skin than their parents in 1980, wouldn't you agree? Statistics state that marriages dropped by almost 1%... the divorce rate decreased by less than .5%... Proportionately speaking, the divorce rate increased. More skin, more divorce. 

Let's go back home to our decade. 

Oh, it's good to be home. 

I think you should close your eyes for this decade. (I attempted to look up photos, but most of them were a little to ris-kay for my blog.) You've seen girls dress these days. 

This winter was one of the coldest ones I can remember. I was really well bundled up. I went to school though, and it seems that most of the girls missed the memo about the snow, and how it was below zero outside. I frequently saw (and still see) girls wearing skirts that barely cover their bums, tights that reveal more than conceal, and shirts that wouldn't pass as rags at my house. In short, no pun intended, there is a lot more skin being shown, per square inch, than there are calories in a big mac.

We've heard the stats many times before. The divorce rate is at around 50%  I believe. It's almost as if people just toss a coin in the air and call it. It's no longer sad, it's scary. 

The amount of skin showing has increased dramatically from then to now. A woman's face used to be her biggest asset, now silicon implants are a gal's biggest asset. Marriages used to be the most sacred of covenants. Now they're meaningless. A man can be married to the same woman for nearly thirty years and decide that the new generation of adults baring all their skin are more worth his attention. A divorce happens. Teenage girls go to school wearing clothes that wouldn't cover a barbie just to attract the attention of boys who can't control their testosterone levels. These boys jump at the chance to be with a girl like that because their minds are the size of peas and their testosterone does the thinking for them. They eventually marry, but for the wrong reasons. Soon thereafter, they get divorced. 

There are no official statistics on immodesty and divorce, but it's sort of obvious.

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