Friday, April 8, 2011

Morgan Mikel's Bin List

For the past while, I've been seeing all of these ads telling that if I click on their link they will tell me 365 things to do before I die in SLC. Honestly, I know there are millions of things that would be awesome to do before I die. I should go sky diving, I should drive on the autobahn, I should eat pasta in Italy. I get it. I already have a bucket list... I don't need someone else to write me one.

What I decided I needed was a bin list. That's a list of things that belong in the trash bin of life. Unfortunately, some of these things are unavoidable, and some I don't realize belong on a bin list until after I've already done them.

Here is my bin list so far:

1. Do NOT watch a film with a film major. -- I can't even begin to tell you how annoying they can be. If it's the first time they're watching it, then you're sorta safe, otherwise, you may want headphones. Film majors have this way of analyzing every pixel, every second, and every syllable. We are bred to do that. If you don't want to hear about how the HMI cranked up in the back gives the actor a nice glow which accentuates the line he is about to say, then I suggest watching films alone or with a mime rather than with a film major.

2. Do NOT walk into Utah Valley and utter one critical word about Jimmer. -- It is common knowledge that Jimmer Fredette is an awesome basketball player. He's won a lot of awards, and he's worked for them. That is great, and he deserves some praise. Utah Valley, however, seems to believe he deserves a lot more than that. They may build a shrine to him soon...and I don't want to be around when that happens. I made the mistake of walking into an apartment on BYU campus and mentioning how ridiculous "Jimmer Fever" is. (Do they even call it that?) I think my friend met outside of his apartment the next time for my safety...his roommates probably don't like me now. I dirtied their idol.

3. Do NOT mention the auto function on your DSLR. -- DSLR is a fancy camera that has interchangeable lens and all sorts of amazing features. Yes, they even have an automatic function. Often times, especially when the weather starts calming down, you will see people out shooting with their DSLRs. Sometimes those people will be attractive men. Naturally, owning a camera too, you'll have this desire to go over and strike up a conversation. That's awesome! Go for it! But before you open your mouth, realize that beauty without brains is really just a nice scarecrow. If you ask him about the auto function on his $3,000 baby, he's going to look at you and put you on his bin list. If you know nothing about DSLRs, just smile and nod as he shows off.

4. Do NOT go to a 3D film and expect greatness. -- 3D is the latest but not necessarily the greatest new fad. James Cameron made a beautiful looking 3D film, but the story isn't too great. Alice in Wonderland had an awesome story to it, but a lot of people saw it in 3D. They disliked it. I saw it in 2D, and I loved it! Our brains cannot register 3D on top of an in depth story. We live in 3D, but our minds have been programmed to watch screens that are 2D. If you are really young now, and watch 3D a lot, you'll be okay, but anyone older than me will always have a hard time with the 3D gimmicks. It's a proven fact. If you want to be dazzled, watch a 3D flick, but if you want entertainment that you enjoy, stick to classic 2D.

5. Do NOT keep a beer bottle in your car, especially an empty one. -- This is a given, but it's a good idea to remember when you're on prop duty and the main prop is a beer bottle. It's definitely good to remember when on BYU campus. Don't assume the cop that pulls you over for speeding is going to accept the excuse "I'm using it for a student film...I promise."

Those are the only ones I have come up with yet. There will be more to come with time.

1 comment:

  1. Live and learn, right? It shouldn't surprise me that BYU fans have deified Jimmer. *eye roll*