Sunday, April 17, 2011

Straighten Up Those Facts, Sir!

I'll post about NAB in a bit. (There are a lot of pictures to sift through.) First, I want to just explain something to you.

I'm 19, and I'm small, but I am not stupid. I am quiet when with a lot of people, because I like to listen. I don't get along with everybody, and I don't try to. There will be at least one person that I disagree with in every group I'm with. I am allowed to voice those disagreements, even if you agree with that person. If you physically hurt me, I have every right to tell someone. If you emotionally hurt me, I have every right to cut myself off from you. Nathan is my best friend and no amount of gossip is going to change that.

Over the years, I have become more quiet when with people. It's because now I want to listen. Yes, before, I did talk a lot. Yes, now, I hardly say a word. I hear a lot more though, now, and that's what I'm aiming for. It would have been way nice if you had asked me how I was doing instead of assuming my silence meant I was unhappy. Hey, you did that for Rachel, so I'm positive you could have asked me, too! You probably would have been surprised to find that I was actually extremely happy with hanging out! It was alright that you didn't ask me and just assumed, but it wasn't alright when you completely lied to my face about it. That was far from okay.

When I voice my opinion, it's because I actually have an opinion. It is not because I dislike the other person. If I don't like someone, I'm not going to waste my time arguing with them. I'll simply walk away. I don't feel the need to stand there and pointlessly put someone down. I do feel the need to speak up when I disagree. Sometimes, I am wrong. I understand that. But that is why I say something. Maybe then people can point out the info I am missing to make me understand why I am wrong. My opinions are just that: my opinions. They are not yours, so don't try to apologize for them. Your opinions are yours, mine are mine, that is how life is. Nobody agrees with everybody all of the time.

No, Derek is not my son. He's my little brother. Yes, he happened to come into our lives the same time that Nathan came into mine. That doesn't make Derek my son. Sorry, it just doesn't.

When you pushed me into the lockers and hurt me, yes, I did run and tell. Why? Because you're nothing but a bully and I was not about to be the next victim. I'm sorry that you couldn't talk to me like a rational person, I tried to understand what you were thinking. I know you pushed me because you were angry at me, and I am not going to apologize for that. I am a Mormon, and that is what I choose to be. I don't care if you aren't. I'm not going to treat you any differently for your beliefs. I expect the same. I choose to be a Mormon, and I could quit at any time if I wanted, but I don't want to. Push me around all you want for it, it won't change that fact. However, pushing me around will get you into trouble. I suggest, like I did then, that you learn to accept me for who I am because I did the same for you for years. I am sorry that it felt like your life was falling apart, but maybe, if you had made better choices, you wouldn't have felt that way. (The "choices" I am referring to are the ones you made that physically hurt me.)

If you were to stop for a second and actually listen to what I have to say, you'll find that I do have things to say. I can't just interrupt you though. I was raised to not do that. You talk, I listen. I talk, you listen. That's how it is supposed to be. I am shy, but not insecure. So if you want to assume that I am insecure, that's alright. But when you assume I'm always negative because I am quiet, that hurts. Especially when you yell at me for it. I am not a negative person. I disagree with you and I'm quiet. That doesn't mean I am negative. In fact, I'm positive. I am positive that you need to mature a bit more before you do anything. I don't drink, or smoke, or party. I love being home with my family, and I love snuggling up and watching a movie with Nathan. That doesn't mean I am negative. It means I realize that I have a lot to do and being drunk won't really help me do those things. If you drink, that's your deal. I don't drink, so don't beat me up for it. I'm not going to start hating you for your choice of beverage at dinner. I won't think less of you for going out on a Friday night and hooking up with some random person. That is all your life, not mine. You made your choices, I make mine. That doesn't make me scared or insecure. Actually I feel like it makes me the opposite. I have the courage and self confidence to have an opinion on the matter. If I were insecure, I would freely float into your world and get wasted to prove myself. I don't have to. I am who I am, I choose to be this way. The politicians didn't decide how I would live my life. I chose how I would live my life.

I am Morgan Mikel. And I honestly don't think you realize who I am. I am not misunderstood, I just think people choose to see what they want. They see a quiet, little Mormon and assume I'm a judgmental scaredy-cat.  I'd like to tell you that I am not. If you hurt me, I'll let you know. If I disagree with your opinion, I'll explain why. If I'm quiet, I'm listening. If I had been pregnant, I wouldn't still weigh 100 lbs. If you feel like I hurt your feelings, it would be awesome for you to tell me so that I can see what I did wrong. 90% of the time, if you assume something about me, you're probably wrong. It's easier just to ask, I will answer any questions you have. I am not hiding anything and I don't see why I would ever need to. I don't live a life I am ashamed of.

(Every paragraph in here was directed at individuals or a group of individuals. You know who you are. If you feel like something was unfairly directed at you, then just speak up. My hearing isn't good enough to hear your thoughts. I was not trying to bash on you, I was simply telling you my feelings. Thank you)

No comments:

Post a Comment