Monday, January 2, 2012

God Complex

Two posts in one day. Must mean something is up. And there is.

Actually, I wanted to talk about something, or rather, someone that is on my mind right now. This someone is actually a person I was friends with. Note the past tense. We stopped being friends because he seems to have a god complex. This isn't a heroic one, like in Doctor Who. This is the type where he gets off thinking he can pass judgement.

In our lives, we pass judgement all the time. It's how we survive. We judge if something is safe, if we can trust someone, if we should eat that chocolate cake. As we get to know people, we judge their values based on ours. It's what we do. It's not a bad thing. It keeps us all safe.

While we all judge people, some of us actually do it wisely. We are open to others ideas. Instead of "WHAT? That's a dumb idea!" we think "interesting. I wanna try!" when something is different than what we are used to. Some people welcome it, some people tolerate it, others just suck at it.

No offense to anyone, but I happen to live in the epitome of the last group. Most people around here are very very close minded to people making their own decisions.For them, you either do what the BoM states, or you're screwed. It isn't everyone, just a vast majority.

This vast majority not only sucks at being open minded, but also sucks as practicing what they preach. They may tell you they whole-heartedly believe that everyone has agency and that you are doing what's best for you, but they will stop talking to you, or lecture you on your choices. These people would much rather follow the letter of the law rather than the spirit of the law. They love because someone told them to. They force false love rather than try to find good qualities in people, or just not love when it's not possible. They accept rules because someone has told them to, not because they feel it's the best thing for themselves.

Raised LDS, I know all the rules and laws, but that doesn't mean I follow them all yet. I try, but if I don't understand, then I can't help but not follow. Understanding is the entire point. If you don't do that, then you miss it!

I understand that it's important for women to be housewives, but I don't understand why I can't have a career right now. I'm still a kid, I have decades ahead of me. Maybe your situation is different. That's fine! If you live how you feel is best, then kudos to you! I admire that. But if you're at home because someone told you you had to be, then I'm sorry for you.

My friends drink. I don't have to. But I don't have to get angry at them and call them names because they make that choice. My friends smoke, as long as they don't hug me, I don't care. (I don't like smelling like smoke...) I have friends that go to church and genuinely believe it. That's fantastic for them! They are doing what they want and what they have found to work for them. They tried. Probably failed once or twice, but they try. They don't just blindly follow the leader.

My friend doesn't seem to understand this concept. He claims to, but he hasn't learned how to make his words match his actions yet. He says he's open minded, but then he tries to fix what isn't broken, and tell me I'm doing things wrong. Recently, his god complex got in the way of friendship, and he's lost it. I am a bit sorry, because he was quite cool and smart, but he wasn't smart enough to know that his coolness was limited to when he wasn't talking.

I don't need friends who can't support me and who judge my decisions based on their knowledge and life. It doesn't work that way. Someday, he'll grow up, but in the mean time...

My life. My rules.

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