Thursday, December 8, 2011

Project 1 DONE!

I finished a semester long project last night. My website. Enjoy it now...because in a week it will all change. It will become a different website (my final project actually).

mysite.tc.uvu.edu/morganalvari

I am super proud of it. All hand coded by me. I will post my projects as I finish them up here, so you can all see that I am actually really awesome. =) Jk, but I will, because I am proud of my own work!

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

video


Thanks, Josh, and Neil, for being super cool and acting for me! And thanks, Henrik, Austin, Andres and Steve for helping out too! Thanks Austin for setting it all up! Thanks, City Limits, for letting us use the bar!

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

My Mistake

I worked in Hell---er Vivint--- this past summer. Obviously, I didn't enjoy it. There were some really awesome people, and I got to chat with some even awesomer people, but there were some down sides. One of the major downsides was a coworker.

This coworker was a total douche bag. At first he was really fun to talk to, and we had enough in common. Then it got weird, and off colored, and just plain wrong. (I do believe I posted about it before.) When things began to suck, I should have gone to Brandon (my supervisor), but I didn't. That was my mistake. Yesterday, this same coworker and I got talking (via text, because I don't talk to him otherwise...). He asked some inappropriate things and it as disgusting. So I went to the police. I just wanted it on record, in case anything were to happen in the future. I didn't want anything else to slip past.

I am incredibly tired of guys being jerks, to me or anyone else. Someone I go to school with is incredibly sexist, and I really am ready to tell him where to stick it. I'm not okay with guys that think it's alright to treat women like anything less than the person they are. I don't believe women have any more rights than men, or that they are better, but we are equal.

Equal in the sense that we are humans, we have feelings, we have dreams, we have strengths and weaknesses, we have opinions. I don't believe that we can do EVERYTHING men can, and men cannot do EVERYTHING women can. It is not the way we are built, but that does not mean we aren't equal at all. Men tend to be stronger, and they are better at somethings. Women are more nurturing and better at other things. In the end, it balances out. But if men are constantly pushing women down, then our entire world is doomed.

And if you're constantly pushing me down, you are really doomed. I won't stand for it. I don't care who you are, if you're gonna treat me like crap, I'll put you back into your place, properly.

On a lighter note, I did get my Christmas tree lights working. (No pun intended, though it was pretty aweosme!) After Nathan and I took all the lights off of two sections to repair them, only to find out we didn't need to... we got it all back on! You can't even tell we did that! I am incredibly proud of my lighting job. And I'm really glad Nathan sat there supporting me the entire time. I'll post pictures once we get it all decorated!

Also, I plan on taking a creative writing class this next semester, wish me luck! I am super stoked. I love writing, and haven't been able to do enough with it. I'm ready to refine any talent I have. I'm also excited to learn about creative writing. The realistic part of my brain has a hard time allowing me to write fiction and fantasy successfully. I just can't get it out. My imagination gets shut down all the time. So it'll be interesting to see how that goes.

For now, enjoy this:

 

The world's largest C-47. BAM! Imagine the diffusion you could clip on with that sucker!

Thursday, November 17, 2011

No post November?

Sorry guys, it has been so long since I last posted. I don't want to try to catch up, because that would take forever and I'd probably never finish and then continue to not post. In all actuality (I have always wanted to use that word), there hasn't been one single thing keeping me from posting.

First, I've been busy with school. I built a nice little website. Here is a link to it, which will stop working in the spring, so enjoy it while you can. The form doesn't actually work...I don't know why, but it just doesn't.
mysite.tc.uvu.edu/morganalvari

Don't worry about reading everything on it...or anything. I didn't put effort into the writing on it. I just needed words to fill paragraphs.


Second, I've been overly stressed. I don't have a job, and it's getting a bit stressful. I need money big time for my car. The dilemma is this: When I turned 16, employers wanted to hire 18 year-olds. When I turned 18, they were looking for 20 and older. Now I am twenty. Guess what age they want! 21. Next year, I will turn 21, and they will want 25! I swear, I'm gonna start lying about these things. I have applied nearly everywhere... My next choice is Mcdonald's. Not the best, but at least it is money, right?

Third, life in general. I am really sorta sick of being a girl. I get a lot of crap from the guys at school. One in particular never takes me seriously. He will fail and flop through a project instead of take my advice. When we work together, he just tunes me out, so when he fails and I save us...he feels a bit dumb. Mostly though, he just treats me like a toddler with autism than an adult, who probably knows more than him.

In other news, I got called as a primary worker. I'll be a sub. The thing is, the primary president is one of the people who I try to avoid. After she treated me like crap when I was a teen, I'm not looking forward to being near her so often. Unfortunately, I will have to suck it up and be polite. It's hard when she is extremely two-faced.

I'm heading down to Gunnison this weekend with Nathan. We're going to be staying at his dad's wife's parents home. Its for a school assignment. I'll return with photos and stories!

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Shell

An empty shell lost on the shore, tossed aside relentlessly by surging waves.
Polished yet battered by the sand., it rests face down.
Cracked by pressure, but alluring, mesmerizing.
Flecks of false gold surrounded by lively rose, it is the one to catch the eye.
Nothing to offer, except hope to others that they may find another shell, cracked and broken yet beautiful.

Monday, November 14, 2011

"Lost" Fortresses of Sahara Revealed by Satellites

"Lost" Fortresses of Sahara Revealed by Satellites


Not gonna lie, this seriously excited me beyond belief. I love National Geographic.

As a kid I wanted to be a scientist so I could have articles about my discoveries in the magazines...now I would be happy photographing or writing for it.

Either way, all of their articles really excite me, especially the ones about lost things being found, or new fossils being unearthed.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Nov. 1. 2011.

My last post was about me being artsy and creative. Well turns out, none of the thins I wanted to do worked. I did the sock bun in Kenzie's hair, and that went pretty good. I learned her hair is far to think to do it with one sock in one bun. Next time, I'll do two socks and two buns. Then we couldn't do leg warmers, so instead we made rag skirts for her American Girl dolls. It was cheap, and fairly easy. I enjoyed it. I will post pictures when I remember to do that.

Today is day of the dead. My least favorite holiday. I've never liked day of the dead. I never will. No offense to anyone. I just am not into it. I prefer cute holidays like Christmas and Valentine's Day. I'll stick with those.

Right now, I'm somewhat blah. It just happens. Hormones go up and down all the time. Right now they're down. I don't really want to have anything to do with a lot of the people I normally associate with. I've been avoiding them all day. It's terrible, I know. I only want to talk to people that aren't all about work, and people that I don't get confused by. I think a lot of these blah feelings have to do with hormones (aunt irma's visit ended), but I think that a bunch of it has to do with just life and dealing with it.

There's just a lot of stress right now. It's really hard to focus on school when all I want to do is sit in my jamies while watching "The IT Crowd." 

Funny moments, enjoy!

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Experiment

I am sick. I have been sick for about a week now, and it sucks. When I get sick, my brain starts getting too creative. My mind forgets that I am not creative and crafty, but it tries anyway. So this time, while being sick, I looked up a few things to try. One I am going to try on Makenzie's hair, and the other is going to be something to do with fabric.

Again, I am not crafty and creative. I was not built with those qualities. Also, not being commonly accepted and welcomed by my super crafty friends growing up, I never got a chance to learn. I stole these craft ideas...or at least one of them...of pinterest. Yes, I went onto that dreaded site. There's nothing wrong with it...I just don't do stuff like that. It's far too cookie cutter. But someone mentioned doing a sock bun curl, and it looked cute. So lucky Kenzie gets to sleep with a sock in her hair tonight. I will post pictures for you all to see how it turns out. The other idea is one I heard of a long time ago, but then pinterest reminded me of it. I am going to make leg warmers, from a sweater. I've done it once for a halloween costume, but I'm going to make real ones this time...not halloween ones. =) Wish me luck.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Just an Update

I am alive. 


Thank you Nathan for providing photographic proof. =)

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Growin' Up

In less than one week, I'll be out of my teens. Hopefully people will stop giving me weird looks when I tell them how old I am.

I'm pretty sure I should get 20 wishes for my birthday. It only seems right. As much as I want to tell you my wishes, however, it would ruin them. If I tell you, then they won't come true. Instead, I'll tell you 20 random facts about me...just because I'm extremely conceited and want to talk about myself.

1. My name is 100% random. Morgan and Mikel weren't chosen based on anyone or anything. My last name is also random, it's neither my dad's nor my mom's last name. That's alright, because it's the same last name as my siblings.

2. I really don't like the color purple. That's sort of an understatement actually. I really hate the color purple. Yet, I'm wearing it right now. Why? Because something inside of me said "grow up, it's just a color. Buy the dang purple sweater!" So I did, and now I'm wearing it.

3. Along with the color purple, I hate artificial grape. It's disgusting. It smells terrible. It tastes terrible. It's overall terrible. Why they created it in the first place, I don't know, but whoever did that needs to be brought to justice...

4. In the winter, I have to wear at least 2 pairs of pants, and at least 3 shirts to be kept warm. My body can't really keep itself warm for some bizarre reason.

5. I love the chocolate chip cookies from Subway. They're amazing. I love the M&M cookies from Harmon's even more. They're even tastier!

6. Despite popular belief, my favorite color is not green. My room is green. My bed spread is green. My blankets are green. Why? Because my family has this crazy idea that I love the color green. It beats purple, so I'm not complaining.

7. I absolutely love caramel apples! They're so tasty. If they were good in the summer, then I'd eat them then too, but good apples in the summer are hard to come by.

8. I love going on little photoshoots with my friends. It's a lot of fun to watch other people do that.

9. Doctor Who. Love that show! Favorite character? The daleks! As evil as they are, I love them.

10. My favorite time of year begins October 1. My birthday, followed by Halloween, followed by Thanksgiving, followed by Christmas and Nathan's birthday.

11. If I could vote one sibling off the island, it'd be Angie. Yes, I love her, But I hate living with her...she drives me up a wall.

12. When I was 12, I got my first concussion. That was a really rough year in school... I got sick a ton and missed a lot of school because I didn't know I had a concussion. My time playing soccer was over. Changed my life forever. If I had never gotten that concussion (and all the subsequent ones) I'd probably not be going into film. But then again, who knows! Maybe I would have anyway.

13. The times when I get great photos are the times when I listen to music right before shooting. I get a specific thought or emotion in my head that lets me actually put something into the photos. If I don't have that emotion...my pictures suck...

14. I am not comfortable taking off my bracelets. As a result of this, two of the three I wear cannot be taken off unless they are cut. I refuse to take them off for any reason.

15. There are 2 places that I want to travel to more than anything else: Italy and Ireland. I would do anything to get to Italy or Ireland. I've always been drawn to those places.

16. I used to be obsessed with socks.

17. I still sleep with a teddy bear. His name is Telly. He looks like a fluff of flat gray carpet.

18. I am 5'3.5". I weigh 105 lbs (finally). I have naturally brown hair (which I do love). And I am white.

19. I bought my first car shortly after turning 19. That little car is freaking amazing. I love her to pieces...and soon, once I fix her, the car will have a hula girl! =)

20.  I have no regrets.

I haven't fully lived yet, but hey, I'm only 19! I have time. I will get to see Ireland and Italy, and Telly and Nathan will be with me to enjoy it! I'll still have my bracelets, and I will never ever ever look back.


Princess cake? Big hair? Bigger smile? Yea...that's how all my birthdays go! =)

Friday, September 30, 2011

Addicted

I was at work, driving Jerry to our location. We were talking about cinematography. He suggested a book. I accepted said suggestion, and then we drove on. Then he said "The worst part about film, is it's addicting." That's 100% true.

We've all seen the images of drug addicts, right? If you haven't, this is what you're missing:


Disgusting, right? I don't know if these people know that they look like death, but I don't think they care. Why? Because it's an addiction. It's virtually uncontrollable.

Thankfully, the film addiction isn't as disgusting:


In fact, it's a glamorous drug, if done right.

Drug addicts go from one fix to the next, doing everything in their power to get higher. Filmmakers go from one set to the next, doing their best to get higher. You learn that filmmaking is lonely. People's marriages become broken, but they keep making movies. Some people remain unmarried, because they're gone all day, but that isn't enough to get them to stop doing their jobs. Friends are lost, enemies get made, and everyone is a jerk...but it's not enough. It's not enough to stop doing it. It's an addiction.

Not being on set creates a serious longing feeling. Having to spend time away from learning about filmmaking drives me up a wall, unless I'm out actually on a set. My next door neighbor always wanted to get into film and theater, and she regrets not doing it. When we talk, I can tell she was bitten by the film bug, and she never got to give into her need and desire. She knows a lot and takes time to research things. I love it, and yet, I feel bad. I wish I could be like her and just walk away, but I know that I would never be happy.

I'm not that far into my career, but I already feel the pain of it. The hours keep me gone a lot, and I don't get to spend as much time with the kids or Nathan. It's only the beginning... I know that the hours will always be completely screwed up, and that I won't get to go out and play sometimes, but yet, it's not enough to make me stop.

I'm addicted. And I'm not going to stop.

super bored post

So I'm in Nathan's photography class, and I'm a tad bit bored. No offense to Reese or anything, I just have been through enough photo classes for right now. I found this little "challenge" on my friend's blog, and I decided I would do it, but all today. I don't feel like dragging this out over a month's time. 

Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself: Being fragile.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself: My personality
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for: Not pushing myself harder
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for: A lot of guys for being douche bags. 
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life: Stand out
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do: Open heart surgery with only a pair of tweezers and yarn...
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for: If I didn't say Nathan, I would be lying, no matter who I said.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit: Oh gosh... I'm going to pass on this one
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted: Um... I don't know. 
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know: oh boy... Probably Charles
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on: Being good at what I do (whatever that means)
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on: My shoes
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough days. (write a letter.): WRITE A LETTER?! No thanks! Linkin Park has always been there. 
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter) Ugh...letter? No. I don't know if I've ever had a hero that let me down. My heroes are all mostly dead...haha
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it: I haven't tried living without Nathan, but I definitely cannot live without him. And for a long time, I lived without Robyn, I didn't realize it, but it sucked. Having her now makes it better. 
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without: All those selfish guys
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something: Ayn Rand's Fountainhead
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage: Oh wow. I think what you do in your time is your decision. You can go and be married to the same sex. You do what you want, I do what I want. Simple as that. I won't fight against it, but I won't fight for it. 
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?: Wow, this would be one heck of a controversial post. I think religion is great if it works for you. religion is for humans, spirituality is for your soul. As for politics, they're ridiculous, but they make the world spin. Whether we like it or not, politics are always going to be around and we'll just need to deal with it. 
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol: Don't do them, stay in school.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?: Chances are, I'd be in that car too. Even if we were fighting, I'd stay by their side. And I would hold them if they were hurt. 
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life: Chosen Film as my major
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life: decided on film a bit earlier
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter): This one will be a new post. So watch for it.
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today: Because a certain someone decided to come over at midnight and tell me he loved me. Why? Because I'm worth loving. There's clearly something I'm supposed to do in this life, and Nathan knew that. Thanks buddy.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?: Yea, I did. I don't remember any dates or anything, but life was just rough and I didn't know how to get my feet underneath myself. I needed a hand up. 
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?: The best thing...I feel like Film is. (It's a love-hate relationship)
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?: If I got someone pregnant I would seriously question life and God. If I got pregnant I would accept it and move forward. No use in wishing to change the past. 
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why: I Hope to get off of this film addiction, its not a career choice, it's a lifestyle choice. and it makes life rough. 
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself: Dear Morgan, I love you. Love, Morgan.

While posting this, I realized something, and I want to post about it, so be right back in my next post.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Sapphire and Ruby

God sent an angel to walk the earth. With the appearance of mortality, the beautiful angel glided through life eternal on the growing planet. Never changing, the angel resided in a small village, that in time, also grew. She saw many a family come and go; many friends passed on. Though she never changed, her heart became filled with sorrow, a sorrow no one would ever see.

On a cold night, the angel sat at the top of a hill. She watched as the townspeople tucked themselves away for the night. Under the stars, in the breeze, she cried. The angelic tears coated the grass, creating blades of silver and gold. She poured her soul and begged to be taken. Her pleads received no replies. Lost and alone, the angel dragged her body back to her home, leaving the metallic grass behind.

It was a myth among the elders and a story among the children that only angel tears could create such a beast. Many believed the beast rose from the tears of an angered angel, meant to destroy the wicked and bring peace to the land. Others believed the tears gave life to the fire-breather as a protector to the angel, and to destroy those who caused the tears.

Whatever the truth was, the townspeople awoke to a loud roar on the warmest night in recorded history. The angel had not yet fallen asleep. She rested at the bedside of a dear friend who would not live to see the next sunrise. Her prayers were filled with requests for comfort for the family of the soon-to-be deceased. The angel's final prayer was interrupted by deep vibrations she not only heard, but felt. Her heart stopped. Only one creature could make such a noise.

The angel ran to the window and looked toward the south. From atop the mountain rose a flame and a screech. The great beast spread its wings, taking flight up into the night sky. A great shadow fell over the town and it's fearful people. As the great being neared the ground, the shadow grew. The beasts giant feet touched the ground with a grace beyond that of any other creature that size. Folding in its large wings, the great creature waited. It waited through the night.

Many in the town fled, leaving behind their friends. Others cowered in their homes. All of them were filled with curiosity, but no one wanted to approach the giant. The myths and stories spread again as they did in the ancient days. Everyone speculated, no one knew, save for the angel.

Days passed and the beast did not move. Though it appeared harmless, no one dared go near. The angel lied in bed, hiding from not the beast, but the people. In the blanket of night, the wind whispered to her. "Come. Come to me." The angel did not come and the whispers became screams within her soul.

One night the screams became unbearable. The angel knew she must face the beast. With determination and fear, the angel faced the beast. The wind was silent, as were the townspeople. They watched in horror as the beautifully mysterious girl faced the great beast.

"Dragon!" the angel called out with her heart. "Why have you come?"

The beast did not move. "Your tears have given me life," the wind whispered to the angel. "They have given me a task."

"What task is that?"

The dragon extended it's arms toward the angel. In each clawed hand, he held a stone. One ruby and one sapphire. "I have come with a choice for you. Choose the sapphire and you will have peace for the rest of the eternities. You will remain immortal, but you will have endless peace and hope. Choose the ruby and you will become mortal. You will have pain and suffering, but it will end upon your death."

The angel stared into the fire-filled eyes of the dragon. Her heart burned. Knowing the townspeople were watching, she made a decision. "I will take the sapphire."

"A wise decision you have made." The dragon spit fire onto the blue stone. From the fire emerged a necklace containing the sapphire. "Wear this and all will see you as a beacon of comfort and hope. Do not take it off."

The angel did not speak. She accepted the necklace. The townspeople grew weary with sleep. Now comforted, they found peace in sleep. The angel remained in front of the dragon. "What becomes of you?"

"I must guard mortality until the end of time."

"Surely you must rest. I will guard the stone for you for the night while you sleep."

The dragon resisted the offer.

"I will help you. You must rest."

The dragon fell victim to the peace and hope of the sapphire. He blew fire onto the ruby. A beautiful charm bracelet emerged. The angel accepted the burning silver and ruby jewelry. The dragon's eyes fell with sleep. The angel waited.

When the sun rose in the east the following morning, screams echoed in the hills. Gold blood ran down the streets. The great beast lay dead where it had once sat patiently waiting. The angel entered the streets. People felt an instant peace. She declared hope and peace. The people of the town followed her. They cleaned the streets and burned the great dragon.

Whispers soon broke out of what had happened to the other stone. The angel said nothing. She knew that owning both stones gave her a power comparable only to the Great Destroyer.

Day by day she smiled and served. She held those who were sad; she fed those who were hungry; she loved those who needed love. Night by night she released her power. She slayed those who were wicked in her eyes; she destroyed that which did not bring peace; she tempted those who would follow, then destroyed them in the name of peace.

The angel from Heaven would never die. She was immortal and felt no pain. She was a peace bringer; she promoted only that which was good, and burned that which was not. No one would ever know of her power, for the only witness to her receiving the ruby was dead, for he did not promote peace in her eyes.

"Bean Sack"

In case you didn't know, I have a little brother named Derek. When he was a baby, we called him "bean sack." When you picked him up, he was limp and felt like a bean sack. Now we just call him Derek or "Beaner." As a baby, Derek was incredibly quite. He mostly just sat there with big eyes and stared at the world.

He hasn't gotten much bigger, but he's gotten older. And as he's grown, he's developed quite the personality and attitude.

He would not sit for my picture unless he got a cheeto. The most noticeable part of the photo is the giant bruise on Derek's head. He's not real coordinated, so his head almost always has a bruise on it.

Like all kids, the thing he looks forward to most is receiving gifts. He has been anticipating Christmas since last Christmas, and he's reminded us all week that his birthday is coming up. He told us he wants lots of presents and cake.

Derek's third Birthday
Derek is such a stinker though. He is a hoarder, and can always be found carrying a bucket, or purse full of junk. To him it isn't junk. Each little toy, each bead, each rock, each seed, each dust mite that he is carrying has a purpose and he uses them. He knows where each little thing is and he will know if it goes missing. Why he does that, I have no idea. I don't know where in the world he got that.

Most things he does and says can be traced back to someone in the house. Not only does he collect little "junk," he collects traits and phrases from people.

Chan loves to play video games (or watch others play really), and when he messes up, he whines and says "Freakin...." He does that whenever he's upset too. Derek was playing with a Sega Game Gear (yes, we own one still) in the corner of the living room. I was sitting there doing my incredibly boring homework in silence when I hear "Ugh...freakin!" I look over and Derek is pouting. Two seconds later, he did it again "Ugh! Freakin!" I asked him what was wrong, apparently he was messing up on his game.

Derek is a sucker for "tewt" things. If he thinks it's cute, then he's all over it. He loves shiny things, especially necklaces. He also loves to have his nails painted. Unfortunately, he has people who love to paint his nails! So his nails are always painted. One fine Sunday, Bishop Brooks from our neighborhood was telling Derek that next time he needs to say "No No, Morgan, No nail polish!" I wasn't there when he was told that, but later I asked Derek about it and he said "Oh yea! No! No nail polish, Mugie!" I showed him my neat nails that I had just painted and asked if he liked them. He said "Oh yes! I do! I love those!" then he thought about it a second and said "No, No Mugie! No polish!"

Derek is really sarcastic all the time. (Yes, that was my contribution to his life.)

Nathan is Derek's favorite person. He always asks me when "faithen" will be home. He loves trying to wrestle Nathan. He also loves bossing Nathan around. My favorite time is once when Nathan and I were laying on the carpet in the livingroom and Derek had to make a choice: go to the store with Grandma or stay home with us. He thought about it and said "Mugie, Faithen, stay here. Sleep!" Then he rethought it and yelled to Grandma "No, I'm gonna stay here and play with my horsey!" He then wanted Nathan to be his horse.

Someday, unfortunately, Derek is going to grow up. I can't wait to remind him of the days when he wore nail polish, wore girl panties around his neck, and choked on noodles. Thankfully, he's still small enough that I can pin him and keep him down for a good tickling.

Happy Birthday this week, Beaner!

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

A Real Post

So I'm "done" coding for right now. In other words, I quit. I cannot code. I can't handle doing that for too long. If you've ever coded, you know what I mean. If you haven't...I don't suggest it.

There are so many more exciting things I can be doing right now. I could go put gas in my car (because driving to Mapleton takes gas). I could go out and take pictures (I'm slacking on that). I could work on my storyboard--no, wait, that's as bad as coding, nevermind. I could keep watching ANTM, but its getting old.

Or I could tell you about what I do for work right now. Or what I have been doing anyway. I've been working on the show "Dining with the Dean." It's on BYUTV...so yes, it is incredibly clean and is most definitely rated G. Here's a link:


http://byutv.org/show/25ef4371-2870-4cac-89e0-85dc7ec67bdd

Although the show is a little...um...calm? It's a blast to work on. I love it. I love the crew to pieces.

flashback:

When I first stepped onto the set with this crew, I felt extremely comfortable already. When I walk onto any set I feel comfortable, but this was different. It was home. I felt like I'd already worked for these guys for ages. It wasn't hard at all to adjust to their styles. It was a really odd experience. It wasn't deja vu, but it was. I knew who everyone was, what they liked, how they operated, and I hadn't spoken to any of them. This is what I was supposed to be doing.

Now:

Now that I've worked a few shows with them, I've definitely adjusted fully, and I love it. Working film is what I love, but I especially love these guys. I can't say that enough. This is definitely a group of people I want to work for for a very long time. In fact...they did talk to me about working for them on their resort work. So cross your fingers!!


What else is going on in my life? School...a lot of school. Not that that's bad. I love the people I go to school with. Sometimes I get incredibly irritated, but at the same time, we're all aiming for the same goal right now, and if I can just deal with the annoying people, we can accomplish our goal.

So it's October...know what that means? PUMPKIN CARVING! Nathan and I have some big plans for this pumpkin carving season! ;) Stay tuned for that.

I'm pretty sure I've said this, but for the first time ever, I have a true girly friend! Not only that, I have 2!! 2 girly friends! Timera and Robyn. I love them to pieces.

I can't even tell you how much I love spending time with Robyn. And just talking to her is great! It always makes me smile.

I love story time with Timera (if she ever becomes a teacher, she needs to have "story time with miss timera"). It's fun. We're both at somewhat the same stages in life, and it's great to have her there. =)

Thanks to both my girly friends!

Well, I have to pee, so I'm gonna wrap this up.

I built this, so please enjoy and don't knock it too hard. I'm working on making it better.

Entertaining Myself

Sometimes I get incredibly bored when Nathan is at work. I'm supposed to be coding right now, but I'm just so bored with it. All I think when I code is "Open. Close. Open. Close. Enter. Enter. Open. Close. Open. Close..." so boring! While coding, I'm watching America's Next Top Model. But it's not keeping me very entertained, at all. So I'm going to write a story, for my entertainment. If it entertains you too, that's fantastic! Let's begin.


The clock ticked softly on the wall. Second after second, she listened and waited. The footsteps she'd been waiting for rose quickly from the silence. Her breath caught in her chest. For what seemed like hours, her eyes remained locked on the door. There was no way out, save for that door. The footsteps ceased. Letting her breath out slowly, she tried to slow her racing heart. There wasn't much time left, and she knew that. As soon as that doorknob turned, she would need to move. She waited.

The light leaking through the bottom of the door, the light that had been giving her at least some hope, was blocked. Shadow swallowed the hope. Slowly, the knob turned on the door. Every muscle tensed in her petite body. The hope that had vanished returned as light spilled into the room. A dark figure cut a strong shape into the warm light. It was time.



well that was fun... I really should get back to work now. Before I do, please, enjoy this:


Thursday, September 15, 2011

I'm a Big Girl Now, WOW!

I believe I've used that title before, but I don't care.

I just wanted the world to know that I'm growing up. I finally weigh over 100 lbs, solidly. I'm a consistent 105-110. With that, I finally have BACK DIMPLES! I've been wishing I had those for a long time now. I'll post a pic when I feel better.

That's the first way that I'm all grown up. The second way is that I don't actually care to bake "Revenge cookies" or anything. I'm mad and hurt inside, but I don't actually want to let him know. I'm 19, and I'll think like a 19 year old still, so I'll still be hurt and I'll probably hold a grudge, but I won't do anything about it.

Just thought I'd let you all know.

Monday, September 12, 2011

In Review

Alright, it's been a while since I actually posted something real. Here I am now, though! That's all that matters, right?

I don't know if you remember this post: This Does Not Equate. If you don't, that's okay. I'm going to recap and review with you.

This is a punching bag.
This is a Morgan.


 They are very different. They are not the same. Remember now? 

Now let's move on a little. 

This is a toy. 


Again, this is a Morgan. 
Are you sensing a pattern here? 

I am Morgan. I have always been Morgan. I will always be Morgan. I will always have dreams (not just the ones I get when I sleep, but the ones that make me want to actually wake up and work). I will always have fears. I will always be curious, and nervous, and I will get angry. I will always love with my whole heart. I will respect you until you give me reason not to. 

I just want you all to understand this. You (you know who you are, Mr.) need to understand this. You may be older, but you're sure as heck missing this small bit of life knowledge. You know I'm smaller than you, and younger than you, and a lot more innocent than you. You know that I trusted you and tried really hard to be your friend. I definitely thought we were friends. But I'm not sorry I did this to your precious bike: 
In fact, I would do it again, only better. I wouldn't hold back.I'm a 19 year old girl, and I will play like one until 11:59 pm the night before my birthday. That's one month. And I swear, if you can't play nicely, then neither will I. 

I am not yours. You can go mess up your life on your own.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Right Now

Right now:

I am wearing three shirts (a pink cami, a tan t-shirt and a blue vest thing), blue jeans, B.O.C. shoes, blue socks with blue dots on them, three bracelets.OH! and a leather belt. oh, and my ring!

I am feeling tired.

My eye burns, there must be something in it.

My shift key on the left side is broken...

I just finished my storyboarding assignment:


I am not hungry for once.

I think my phone is broken, but I don't want to touch it to find out...

There is a lot on my mind. (I don't like school right now; I don't feel like I'm learning anything. I don't particularly want to go to work in the AM, but I need the money and the experience. I don't want to listen to people, and I'm having a difficult time not being totally selfish.)

That's all for now, the broken shift key is really killing me.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

...

Well Labor Day sucked. It royally sucked. I want to rewind to Sunday and sleep through Monday.

If you know me at all, you know that I'm not happy until I finish what I set out to do. I can set my mind to something and keep at it for hours, days or weeks on end. The thing is, I don't have time for it. I don't have time to sit and watch the grass grow... I don't have time for everything.

It's a simple problem. Everyone has it. Not enough hours in a day to accomplish everything. I, however, don't handle it well. It really frustrates me and makes me angry when I can't accomplish something. I beat myself up over it.

This, though, hasn't been too much of an issue because I've had Nathan with me the whole time. He's been there through thick and thin. He's been there on the days where all I want to do is sleep and cry because I'm so angry. He's been there when I needed him and when I simply wanted him. He's been there to help me work, or study, or play. He's been my everything... And how did I tell him Thanks? I screwed up our relationship.

I don't want to talk about it. I'm just going to sit here and cry about how stupid I am and how I wish I could take everything back...

Sometimes, I am my own worst enemy and, like with all my other enemies, I want to prove myself wrong. I can't though. I don't know how. But I know that I really hate watching my whole world just disappear from under me.

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Urban Dictionary

Makenzie: makenzies are sooooooooooo cool. if you dont know a makenzie, you have to get to know one, and if you do but you arent friends with her, youre just a fat hoe! she will love the man she loves now and will never let him go. you must be the luckiest person alive if you are dating a makenzie. she is the most loyal friend and she is super pretty, smart, attractive, cool, popular, cute, loving, and wonderful person alive. everyone loves a makenzie!

Chandler: 1. (n)meaning one who brings light
2. (n)one who is gifted beyond measure; often on a soccer field
3. (v)to show, prove, or establish dominance over another being; often one who is inferior in skill or intellect

Braxton: The best boyfreind you could ever have oh and did i menchin hes hot,a great kisser,and good at many things!!!!

Derek: Someone you CANNOT get off your mind because he is always so funny and cute. A Derek is a hotty with a killer body.

Nathan: A guy who is caring and intelligent and is superior to all even God.He is loved by all his mates and is there for everyone who has problems and is a great listener.He is so caring and such a strong fighter that nothing can beat him.He is the kinda guy you want as a mate or a lover.A legend at the guitar and guitar hero.He is just an amazing happy person who is easy to love.He has a very nice personality and is very easy on the eyes and is very cute.He is a perfect man in everway unless you cross his path when he is sleepy then you have hell to pay lol. Generally a nice guy with lots of friends who adore and love him.A one of a kind...

Morgan: 
She's the most beautiful girl you will ever see. Every feature that she posseses is engraved in your mind from the second you lay eyes on her. Morgan is not limited to just physical features, her personality is equally as beautiful. 
 
Charles: Pronoun: "Charles" refers to only the world's greatest and sexiest Irishman. Sports the world's greatest smile; he's hot, hilarious, humble. Well known for his impish personality, he exudes mischief and fun at all times. He is the most giving person in the world; ready to listen at the drop of a hat whether it's midnight or 3 pm or go kick some serious ass when needed. He believes in the "3 F's": Faith, Family, and Finances. (You don't cross any of them... ) Is destined to either marry an Italian before 30 or join Mount Saint Mary's at 35. Once graduated from the country's greatest school (for those who don't know... that's UVA) he will be wreaking havoc on 6-7th graders having them prove infinity while he comes up with a new number system and re-structures relativity. He's known and respected by all, deeply loved by a close few.
 
Timera: The Single Most Beautiful Girl In Hamilton, Ontario. 
 
Robyn: Women with the name Robyn are: beautiful, angel-like in appearance, selfless, kind, sweet, caring of others, and make wonderful mothers, Robyn makes a good friend and is a shoulder to lean on. Robyn's are bright beacons of light, they are righteous and believe in religion. Robyn believes that family is the most important thing in the world.
 
Well, I'm off to bed. Night! 


post

I've been sitting here, trying to think of things to post about, but I honestly have got nothing. If I post about what's on my mind, you'll hear a really long (and probably redundant) story about some jerk who isn't a friend at all, but pretends to be. Or I could tell you about how much I miss Nathan... I could tell you that I got my hair cut, but that happens. My plans? I'm going to Logan for the weekend, and I'm sure that'll bring back some interesting posts for you. Right now, though, I just don't have anything.

I was sitting here, thinking about it, and I realized that all these people I thought were friends really weren't. Yea, it's that same group that's been pissing me off for a while now. The fact that they hung out without me is alright, but no one even stuck up for me. I always stuck up for each of them at least once (when the situation arose). I don't think they realize it, but friendship isn't selfish... oh well, one day they'll figure it out when no one sticks up for them.

I really do miss Nathan. With school and work and stuff we hardly get to spend time together anymore. It really sucks. We see each other at night and then we have to go to bed...*Sigh* it better get better...otherwise I may just stop sleeping so I can hang out with him.

I'm going to Logan for work but I'm going to get to see one of my best friends ever. That'll be a lot of fun...assuming I'm not totally exhausted... haha

well, that was fun. here, enjoy a couple DYAC's:


definitely two of my favorites. haha.

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Soap Opera Sunday

Why do they call them soap operas? I have a couple of theories, but I don't think they're all that accurate.

Theory 1: Women used to watch them while making soap. Back then, there was probably a lot more singing.

Theory 2: They were advertised on soap boxes, knowing that women would buy the soap and be intrigued at the shows that specifically targeted them.

Some day I'll research it. For now, I'll just write you a brief description of what's going on in my head, soap opera style! It's hard to WRITE a soap opera on a blog, so it'll be formatted like a story.

Morgan was sitting on the bed/couch in the family room. Thoughts of confusion cross her mind, leaving her face twisted and her eyes empty. She was thinking about the previous day. "Why in the world did Cameron write that text? It made no sense. I bet it was his girlfriend. She seems pretty immature, and that's exactly the kind of thing she would do."

While pondering what to say to Cameron, or what to do about the situation, Morgan's mind drifted to other immature people. So she looked them up on facebook. The immaturity of some people's actions overwhelmed Morgan. "Oh boy. Now I should blog about it." So she did.

That's it. The end.

Seriously though, some people drive me insane. I know I'm dramatic a lot, but I am a 19 year old girl. I'm allowed to be a bit dramatic sometimes. Normally I'm a pretty chill kind of girl. You can do your thing and I'll continue on my marry little way. I don't care if you get drunk, or smoke, or eat cilantro. Those are your life choices. I don't care if you go hang out with your friends or text me cryptic and ridiculous messages then ignore me. Honestly, I don't care if you want to steal all my left shoes! You do your thing, I do mine.

That's how I am normally, but once upon a time, my feelings were hurt...again and again and again and again. No, I'm not quite over that. I do still feel really angry and hurt when it crosses my mind. Why? Because it was all due to some people's lack of consideration and true friendship.

I don't know about you, but I deeply care about my friends. I would give my life for Nathan. I'd drop everything and rescue Robyn if she needed it. I'd sell my soul for Timera. I would most definitely do what I could to help Nick. I wouldn't ever hurt James or let anything hurt him. I sincerely care about my friends and their lives. Naturally, I do things on my own, but if I'm having a party, I WILL invite ALL my friends. I won't pick and choose and just happen to leave ONE person out.

The fact that I was in a circle of friends and I happened to get excluded really really pisses me off. I've asked a million times why they did that, but the answer almost makes less sense than them just excluding me. Apparently, they thought I didn't have fun with them. So Instead of asking, they just assumed and excluded me.

I'm getting really worked up over this and it really really pisses me off. Haha. What I want to do is email them and just rip them a new one, but I also don't want to have anything to do with them. I can think back to all the good times we had together, and it makes me smile, but then I realize that they were probably being mean behind my back. It's too late to worry about it anymore, because I'm all growed up and they aren't. It's impossible to ask for a logical answer from a child...if they want to act like high schoolers for the rest of their lives, they can do that. I'll just be over here, in my world, with my grown up friends, doing grown up things and enjoying LOGICAL moments and HELPING each other instead of trying to one-up everyone.

Yea...I can be a soap opera sometimes... but only when I sing while in the shower. (get it?)

You won't believe it, but I found this picture AFTER I came up with the "Soap Opera Sunday" idea...and I didn't even google "Soap Opera Sunday!" Guess it was meant to be:




Saturday, August 27, 2011

Update

This is just a basic update on what's been happening in my oh-so-exciting life.

1. I cut and dyed my hair. I now have decently short, semi-blond hair.
2. Grandma was incredibly sick, but now she's doing incredibly better!
3. I have an ear infection, but I discovered ear drops! God's gift to people like me who get sick often. These ear drops magically took a lot of the sharp pain away.
4. I quit Hell--er..vivint. I am DONE there!
5. I do weekend jobs for Lenzworks. It's pretty much awesome!
6. I absolutely love hanging out with Robyn Jordan. I think she's one of the coolest people I have ever known, and I love her to pieces.
7. Timera Lindsay: I can't wait to go to school with you again.
8. Nathan always knows exactly what to say and do to make me feel better.
9. I cleaned my room. and bought a backpack. and... shoes. I bought my first pair of Merrel's.
10. I am gonna go to sleep.

Please enjoy this awesome picture of a death star jack-o-lantern. I am so stoked for fall!


Sunday, August 14, 2011

"Open BOTH Eyes When Aiming"

A few weeks ago, I went shooting with Charles. (By the way, I suck at it.) He was nice, and didn't make me feel too stupid. Charles kept giving me little tips, like stand up straight, bend this elbow, straighten this elbow, lean forward, pull back, don't anticipate the kick, and open both eyes when aiming. To be honest, I don't know how to aim with both eyes. It makes sense that I'll hit the target more often when using both eyes, but I just can't do it.

While opening both eyes is important in shooting, I feel like it's important for other things, too. Like driving, playing sports, reading, and campaigning. Today I read an article in the Daily Herald about twin sisters from the U that have started a campaign for women. The main image in the article was a billboard that the sisters created.

The article talks about their campaign to help females realize that societies views of beauty is false. That's awesome, but it's only one of many many many campaigns doing this. Every campaign like this one has the same goal: to get women to see their true value and to tear the media down. This is an admirable goal, but I don't think they'll ever accomplish it.

That sounds incredibly pessimistic, but just listen for a sec. Females everywhere are being bombarded with media images of what? There are pictures and products everywhere that make us believe we need to be something we're not. We see tall, skinny, perfect women. It's a fact. Now, it's awesome that people like these sisters are trying to change the way we think, but they're missing the main target. Who is creating these images? Who's behind it all?

"Well duh, Morgan, clearly the media. You just said that yourself." I sure did, but who is behind the media? Who is the marketing agent that's paying people to create these images? THAT'S who you need to target. It's men. Plain and simple. Women are in the marketing business, but they have only recently got there, relatively speaking. Men have controlled this planet for centuries. Women haven't gotten their foot in the door until the last 60-70 years. While women may be in the marketing room now, telling people to create the images, it wasn't always that way.

It began with men. They created the "perfect" woman. They pasted her all over the billboards. They put her face on bottles, and bags, and posters, and ads. They made shirts for her, and pants, and underwear. Men did it because they know they're in charge. If a man can convince another man that his wife is not beautiful, the man will always believe that.

We can create endless campaigns to remind women of their true worth, but it will never due us any good. Men will still see women the same as they always have unless we change that too. Companies are not going to change their product ads; those ads make them money, why would they stop? They'll stop when they stop making money off of them. They'll stop when men start saying "Hey, wait a second, that's disgusting! Women don't actually look like that."

Just like when doing target practice, you need to open both eyes for campaigns. Now, if someone can come up with a solid campaign to remind men that women aren't just pretty little toys, they'll make millions.

Monday, August 8, 2011

The Hardest Part

My supervisor showed me that.

Everything has something hard to it. Clearly the hardest part about rollerblading is telling your parents you're gay. The hardest part about working for Vivint is working for Vivint. The hardest part about applying for jobs is having the patience to sit and fill out applications. The hardest part about raising kids is remembering not to lock them in dungeons...or something like that.

The point is, nothing is ever 100% easy all the time. True, breathing is easy, but your first breath probably wasn't the easiest. Sleeping can be easy, but there is such a thing as insomnia. Eating can be hard one way or another. School is hard sometimes. Work is hard. Life in general is hard.

Right now, the hardest thing in my life is dealing with work, but even harder than that is proving someone wrong. (that made no sense...dang)

Basically, I've come to realize that the hardest part about proving someone wrong is actually proving them wrong.

Sometimes it's super easy to prove someone wrong:

Other: "Morgan, you can fly!"
Morgan: "Oh really?" *jumps and falls on face*

Other times, it's really hard:

Other: "Morgan, you cannot fly!"
Morgan: "Oh %$&#!!"

Right now, I'm in a blue situation. I cannot prove someone wrong. Actually, I can't figure out how to prove someone wrong. I want nothing more than to prove this dude wrong. I want to be invincible and amazing! Basically, I need to not get hurt, at all, for the next three months...not that hard. But I also need to just be overall awesome.

It sounds easy enough, but in reality, I don't know how to just be awesome. I can be awesome sometimes, but I need to be beyond awesome right now. I need to be so awesome that even this kid can't help but notice. I don't want his attention as in I want him to like me. I want his attention as in I want him to dislike me.

I want him to be mad at himself for saying I couldn't do it. I want him to have such a massive face-palm moment that he leaves a huge red hand print on his face for a week. I want him to be embarrassed to talk to me. It sounds harsh, but it's true. I love this dude to pieces, and I really admire him, but I do NOT like his opinion of my abilities. He needs to realize that just because he's older than me, and more experienced (that's what she said), he does not get to say what I can and cannot do.

For the next three months I'm going to work on my awesomeness. I'll keep you updated on it. Cross your fingers and pray that I can show this guy up. If I can, that means great things for me!

Friday, August 5, 2011

From the Archives

Lamp please. Key please. Stand back.

Let's take a tour of the archives:

First we have a random post from a random date:

GROW UP!

Ya know what really gets me? High School students! I know I am one, but that doesn't mean they still can't drive me nuts.

There are a few kids out there who are my age who don't bother me, but for the most part, HS kids suck.


First, there are the ones who think their parents don't know anything, so they do things their way. Their way doesn't work out, so they try harder to not do what their parents say. I mean seriously. Parents can get annoying, but HELLO! they're older than you, by a lot. They've been here and there, they know what its like to deal with things. I mean they didn't live in the Garden of Eden, they know the world can really suck, they know that friends can be back stabbers, they know how hard it is to listen to parents!


Second, there are the ones that rebel to be different...the only problem with that is they all rebel the same way! Instead of standing out, they blend in. Their parents set rules like "don't dye your hair blue" so what do they do? they dye it blue! "don't get your body pierced" so what do they do? They pierce EVERYTHING!! It goes on and on like that! Yes, they wan't to be different, but that doesn't mean you have to be different in that way only! Try being extra bubbly, or work on your grades, or hey, here's a wild idea, BE YOURSELF!


Third, Kids whose parents control their every move. For example "Emma" (name has been changed just to be nice) used to be one of my bestest buds. Then her mom took over. Now emma only talks to me when her mom is not around, but as soon as her mom steps from behind her evil cloud of evilness, emma stops talking to me. she even blantantly ignores me. Emma also works to please her mom, because she is too scared to actually work for her own dream, so she works for her moms dream.


Fourth, people who are actually too arogant to realize how ignorant they are. Yes, this is refering to a lot of the kids in a certain program im involved in. They sit there, and listen, but only to a certain extent. As soon as the teacher says something they don't like, they shut their ears and open their mouths. "What?! Sex does not influence our advertising!" or "Our teacher is so perverted. No other teachers seek out ads that show semi naked women, or women shaped like perfume bottles! what is wrong with him!?" GROW UP! THE ADS EVERYWHERE ARE VERY SEXUAL AND VERY SEXIST! GET OVER IT! IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT THEN DON'T BOTHER READING ANY ADS, WATCHING TV, OR EVEN GOING TO A MOVIE!


oh! that's another thing! these same kids watch movies that have strong sexual content (for mormonville)--transformers 2-- and they don't see anything wrong with it. but when the topic of sex ed in schools comes up, they get all whiney about how awkward and horrible it is. they whine about how teachers shouldnt talk about sex at all, not even if it's part of the reproduction lesson in an anatomy class. RIDICULOUS!


I love all my friends, I really do, but sometimes, ya gotta grow up. I have a lot of growing and learning to do, but at least I'm over the "girls have cooties" stage, and I'm following my own path, my way with the help of older, smarter people.









































 "Aw, how tewt! A baby Mugie!" I am three years old in this picture. The couch that is taller than me in this now comes up to my belt line. It's amazing how much I've grown! =)

Now, for the final stop of the night: A RANDOM SONG! I'm going to pick a song from my itunes library and then I'll post the music video. *please be good, please be good, please be good...and clean*




Well...G'night!

You're wrong

If you know me, then you know that I don't take "no" for an answer. I will not be told what to do (unless it's something I want to do) and I don't listen when someone tells me I cannot do something. Sometimes this gets me into trouble, but most times it gets me where I want to be. Right now, it's getting me ice cream.

Yes, I am lactose intolerant. I have been for a few years (that I know of). It's been a really long few years. I feel like it's been my whole life. I gave up milk without too much of a fight (because it made me sick), but I still struggle with wanting Macey's soft serve ice cream. It is seriously God's gift to Orem city.

Normally, milk (and dairy in general) makes me really sick. I've been testing that lately, and so far so good. I got sick for about ten minutes after eating an ice cream treat at Lake Powell. And I've been able to eat cereal with real milk in the mornings. Next test? MACEY'S SOFT SERVE ICE CREAM!

I am not going to sit here and let my own body tell me I can't have what I want. That's just dumb. I want ice cream, I'll get ice cream.

People didn't think I could graduate HS with my AS degree, but I did it. People didn't think I could write, but I'm doing it. People didn't think I could be a grip, but I tried that and did it alright. People thought I'd be pregnant before I turned 20, but I'm not. Do not tell me what I can and cannot do. It just doesn't work. I will prove you wrong. I will prove myself wrong. I'll eat that ice cream, and it'll be the best ice cream I have ever tasted (again)!

If you have something to say about that, I think you should keep it to yourself, because, chances are, you're wrong.

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Oh Boy

So much time has passed, sheesh. Sorry about that. I can't guarantee I'll stick around this time, but I'll post today.

First: Vivint... Oh. My. Gosh. I hate it. I am so so so so so sick of answering phones. Actually it's not the answering the phones that irritates me, it's the people off the phones that get me. I don't mind angry customers. I don't mind loud alarm sirens going off. I do mind jerk faces and morons. A certain someone at work is a total....words I don't say....I don't even know where to begin with that kid. He's 23, but he acts like a kid. He acts less mature than Kenzie. That's saying something. He pulled me into the drama with his ex-girlfriend, then lied to me, which caused me to give his ex-girlfriend false info, which makes me look like the bad guy! Then he has the nerve to blame it on me and call me a crappy friend! WTF?! I'm seriously really sick of it all. I cannot wait to find a new job.

Second: Lake Powell. It was awesome!  Unfortunately I couldn't do a whole lot because of my shoulder, but it was still amazing! I got to spend every second with the love of my life. It was incredible! There weren't distractions, or stupid people (at least people that weren't that stupid).

Story: I was sitting on the top deck of the boat at Lake Powell and I took my ring off because it was hot and it gets annoying when it's hot out. I set it on my lap and listened to some music while watching everyone else swim. I stood up and forgot to put on my ring. I watched it roll off the chair, across the deck, and into the water. If you know anything about Lake Powell, you know that once something falls into the water, there is no chance you're ever getting it back. As soon as the ring hit the water I felt my stomach go with it. I was so mad. I ran and grabbed my cell phone and went to find cell service to call home. While trying to find service, Nathan came up the cliff. He handed me my ring and hugged me. He dove down and found it before it got buried in the sand. Where the ring fell, the water was only eight feet deep. I haven't taken it off since.

Third: My shoulder. It hurts more than anything else at times. I dislocated it, then didn't take care of it. During the trip, it started to hurt really really badly. So I made a sling out of bandanas until I could get home. Once home I was able to find a real sling. It stresses me out though. I hate not having my arm. I also hate how it hurts when I try to use it at all. *sigh* I guess I'll just deal with it.

Fourth: School starts soon. I can't wait for that! I can't wait for classes to start! I love being in them, and being with those people, and learning stuff that I never even knew I could learn! It's so exciting! It'll beat the pants off of going to work.

Anyway, I need to go shower so I can spend time with Nathan. Adios!

Friday, July 15, 2011

Happy Anniversary

I think everyone ought to know that today is Nathan's third anniversary with the love of his life: ME! I can't believe it's been three years already! I love it, I love all of it. I've loved every second of it! I love that there will be more, too! Many many more years to love! =)

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, NATHAN! I LOVE YOU MORE THAN ANYTHING! FOREVER AND ALWAYS! 4.3.2.1!

If I wasn't running late, I'd post a million pictures up here, so hang tight and I'll get ya some soon.

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Expression

Our society has grown as a whole. We've shifted and changed over the many, many, many years. From century to century our styles have changed. We as humans have changed. What used to be unacceptable when our parents were younger is acceptable today. In fact, we've changed so much that there are very few things that have remained the same from the beginning to now. One of those few things is music. We still have music. People still express themselves through songs.

Though our decision to create music hasn't changed, our music has. Which only underlines the fact that we changed, too.



 This is Mozart's Requiem: 2. Listen to it. You can feel the ups and downs, the story just flows. And that's just one piece of the requiem. Note the instrumental, each instrument is doing something different. Listen to the vocals. The ladies are singing something different than the men. Listen to how it all fits together.
 
 Nicolai Rimsky-Korsakov. Flight of the bumblebee. It's one of the most popular classical songs out there. It's simple and yet so ridiculous at the same time, but it tells a story. Inside your head, it tells a story. That's what music does. It takes your life experiences and throws them together in your head to create a story. The story I hear in the music is totally different than the one you hear. We can't see the story Korsakov had in his head (but I bet it was about a bumblebee). It's amazing!
But then suddenly music changed. That's when we got music lacking bass, and people claiming they could sing...when really they just need to shut up. Then, musicians didn't make a whole lot of money. They worked their butts off to make something beautiful and original and got paid very little. They weren't a high part of society. They were in the middle class and even the lower class. Now days, people copy other people's music and get paid millions for it. Most musicians don't even write their own music, they just perform it. 



You've all seen this, right? Now you have.



It just amazes me how we do so little and expect so much. Music used to be a lot of effort and talent, now it's just a fun way to make money. It still does take some talent, but not like it used to. You don't really see Hans Zimmer's name on the top ten charts of the week. He writes brilliant stuff, but not many people recognize that.

Then you have Katy Perry you has one melody that she uses again and again and again... You all know it. Her songs sound exactly alike.

Lady Gaga does a better job at that, her songs don't all sound the same, but they have the same patterns to them.

Two words: Rebecca Black

There are people who express their feelings very blatantly and tell the world that they're going to go hook up just for the heck of it. That's fine, their business, not mine.

There are a lot of musicians out there. Everyone's ipod has different sets and combinations. We become our own composer and we make playlists to become soundtracks of our lives. We throw a little angry music into it when we feel like smashing something. We put a cheesy love song on to remind us of that one special person.

Some listen to rap, others country. Some still listen to classical music, others choose to listen to Justin Bieber (then the rest of us choose to shoot the person listening to Bieber). Music today is nothing like it used to be. It's a lot less work. A lot less time goes into it. Yet, it's more user friendly. People can go running and listen to a set of songs that pump them up. Try running to a requiem...it's hard.

Our society has changed so much, gotten so simple, that it's both ridiculous and brilliant at the same time. Anyone can write a song and become a hit over night. That's awesome for those who have that dream...but it's ridiculous for those of us who turn the radio on and can never find something good because everything sounds the same!

Music will change again, and again, and again, right up until we hear trumpets, and then it'll change again. Society is going to grow, and change. It's going to get more simple and then it'll get complicated. It's how life goes. In a way, it's its own song.

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Honey, I'm Home!

Guess what! I'm back! I'm back in business, baby! Sort of. I haven't been able to use my brain for the past week, which is surprisingly hard.

Things that use brainpower:
  • computer
  • TV 
  • Movies
  • writing
  • reading
  • living
  • breathing....
  • EVERYTHING

So basically, I have done NOTHING for the past week. Nathan has spoiled me like none other, and it's been amazing! He spoils me all the time anyway, but I was extra spoiled. =)

Now it's better, though. And I get to do stuff! I get to watch movies, read books, and write!! I also get to blog for you! I'm still really scattered though, and too much over-processing hurts. I have a hard time getting to places without getting distracted and lost... I can't talk on a phone and look at a computer. I can't walk and talk too well... walking and chewing gum, that's out of the question! (Jk on that last one.)

You know how it feels when you sit on your leg and it becomes extremely numb?  You can poke your leg but you can't feel it... you clearly still have a leg, but you can't walk on it... yea, that's how my head feels. I can tell I have thought processes going on, but they just won't come out! Like a word stuck on the tip of your tongue. It sucks...


And I totally forgot everything else I was going to say... Stay tuned, I may remember! In the mean time, laugh at this pic with me:

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Brief Hold

Hey, would it be alright if I put you on a brief hold? I had an accident, and I can't look at the computer for longer than a few minutes without getting a massive headache. I promise that as soon as I get better I'll start posting again! =) I have quite a few awesome stories to share with you!

Sunday, June 19, 2011

W-O-W

Every day, you wake up and something happens. You choose to do something, an event occurs, or both at the same time. Every second of every day shapes the way you live the next seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years. What you do right now will affect what you're going to do later in life. No matter what you do, life is going to go on. Wouldn't it be smart to happen to life instead of letting life happen to you?

When you happen, life goes better than you planned. One day, I decided to happen, and that led to the best two weeks of my entire life. I emailed Brian Sullivan and figured "Oh well if I don't get the internship." I got it. And I was terrified. I had no idea what to expect, how to act, what to say, what to wear, who to talk to, anything! But I decided to happen to this film. When I forgot to be scared and worried, it went beautifully!

I learned more than I can ever say, written or verbally. Each person I talked to and got to know over the past two weeks really changed the way I see things. I could try to list everything, but I think you'd all get really bored, and I'd need to miss a heck of a lot of work. Instead, I'll just list a few that stand out to me right now.

(These are in no particular order, and there are a ton more that I won't be on here...)

First off, Daryn. Daryn was the director and writer of this film. I never did get to read the story, but I imagine it was pretty neat. Just talking with Daryn, I realized that being the director is the best. No hard labor, people give you shoulder rubs, life is good. =) I also learned that what's inside of me is special and that when I let me show I'm happier than ever. There is no one to impress. There will be bad days, but if you hang in there through them, you'll be golden (like the coin I will now carry in my pocket every day)! One the second to last day I had a really crappy day. Set was awesome, but I just was grumpy. I kept a smile on my face and kept working anyway. The next day, I was excited again and ready to go. I ran into Daryn in the hallway and he told me that I have something special and that I shouldn't ever stop trying. We also played this game where we just complimented each other over and over again. The only rule was sincerity. I'm kinda bummed that game is over, because I really liked getting a million compliments. It did help me, though, to play nicer with other people. I don't think I can ever say thank you enough!


Then there was Luke. Luke was the lead actor in this film. The first time he said hi to me I was captivated. After all, he is British. Luke put his everything into each scene. If the scene was emotional, he spent hours preparing for it. He felt the character's emotions, and he showed them beautifully. When he wasn't on set, he was just as beautiful. He was really spiritual, and could see the beauty in every thing. He has a tattoo on his arm. It's of a panther with a banner below it that says "compassion." He said that the strength of man without compassion just makes you a bully. The last day of shooting, we were sitting in video village and he was telling me about the magic he saw in human emotion and thought. He told me stories of his ideas for things and told me that when a person loves, there is nothing more amazing than the feelings inside of him. He talked about always seeing the positive in every thing because without finding the positive, you can never truly find the areas that need fixing. That changed a lot inside of me. Just that one second. As he was leaving, he made me give him my word that I would go out into the world and just do what I love. Someday, when I get to see my work go up on the silver screen, I'll hunt Luke down and thank him. He really touched me...


The very first thing I thought about Robert was "Sweet! He's black!" I personally think black people are incredibly beautiful. This sounds stupid, but I was pretty excited to be working with a black person. One day, I was putting cables up in the ceiling. That really sucked. It wasn't the job, but the ceiling that sucked. We had to be gentle with the ceiling tiles, the metal frame kept falling and I swear something was up there gnawing on my hands. When I got done, my arms burned. I had more cuts on them than I thought was physically possible. I can't even tell you how painful it was. Decades of dust started to burrow into my skin. Robert took me outside and found some cleaning pads. Very gently, he wiped the dust off of my arms. It was simple, but it was really sweet of him to do that. It was a very different side of him that I hadn't yet seen. Before (and after) that, we spent a lot of time trying to get at each other. It started when a nasty water drop fell from the ceiling in the cell block. It got him right on his forehead. I laughed hysterically. Later, I was standing by the door and I felt a drop hit my head. I was not happy. After silently freaking out, I turned around and Robert was standing there. He had tapped my head just right to make it feel like a water droplet. From then on, we just kept trying to get at each other. He always joked about how much I ate, and it made me laugh. Hey, there was free food, of course I'll eat it! =) Unfortunately, I think I lost our little game. He came up behind me when I was turned around in a hallway, and just as I was going to face the door, he grabbed me. I almost wet my pants. It was the funniest thing in the world. I had a lot of fun talking with Robert. I felt incredibly comfortable and at ease around him. That helped a lot on the second to last day when I was grumpy. I'll definitely never ever forget him. and someday, I'll go out to LA and make him take me to the beach so I can tan up a bit. ;)

Isaac. My other black buddy! He was HUGE! My waist was the size of his upper arm. He's 6'6" and pure muscle. As big as he was though, he was such a teddy bear. At first, he looked incredibly menacing. After all, he could eat me and probably not notice. He was incredibly polite and seemed really traditional. By that I mean he was a real gentleman. His hand was the size of my head, but I don't think he would have hurt me ever. When I was around him, I felt really insignificant. I pictured him tripping and accidentally smashing me... But he helped me off the apple box (which was a good thing), and he always made me smile. This paragraph seems a lot smaller than the other ones, but it's only because of the way he helped me. It had a lot to do with how I felt, and I can't think of words that describe that. Thank you, Isaac, for being my friend!

Loni 
Josh 
Charles
The first people I met were Loni, Josh and Charles. We were the GE department. When Brian told me to go up to Redman to meet them, I got more nervous than I thought was possible. All I had to do was go help them. It wasn't like I was having my life decided for me by them or anything. After working with those three for a few days, they started to feel like a little family. It's stupid, so don't laugh. It's also true, though. I knew that if I had no idea what to do, I could ask any one of those three and they'd help me out. I don't normally relate to girls all that well, so I was worried Loni and I wouldn't get along. After a while though, it became really comforting for me to have her there. She is the first girl I've ever felt 100% okay with. Maybe it's because she was just so danged awesome! =) If I ever felt like I wasn't loved, I could have joined another department and then listen to Josh rant about it. Aside from that, though, I learned that it's always best to just say "Yes, Sir" and do the task. Never whine, never question. Just do it if your boss says so. I've been told that a million times, but seeing Josh actually DO it made a huge difference. It makes the job go a lot smoother if you just do what you're told. If you don't think it'll work, do it anyway, then talk about it after. You never know what's going on in someone else's head, so you have to just do what they ask so that the project keeps moving along. =) On the day that I was in a bad mood, Charles helped a ton. It wasn't like he did a whole lot, but he texted me and made sure I was okay. He then took me outside to smash lightbulbs. That sounds ridiculous, but it was a blast! I really enjoyed it! Throughout the whole show, he stuck clothespins to me and threw tape at me and just messed with me. So I did it back. It broke up the long stretches of nothingness. I really like Charles and I feel like I was super lucky to work with him. He was always smiling and always happy. The job may have sucked, but he was still smiling. If I ever have a bad day anymore, I know that it can be solved by throwing florescents at a wall. It makes everything better. =) Overall, I really loved this department. I got the chance to work in all of them, but this was by far my favorite. I wouldn't have switched over for anything!

There are a ton of other people who really made this an awesome experience. When the film comes out, look up the cast and crew list and you'll see the list of my favorite people. I really enjoyed every second of it. This was my very first real film, and even though it was tiny, I really had a blast. I know each job is different, but I can't wait for my next one someday. If I ever do anything way awesome, I know for sure these are the first people I'll thank. =)

Thanks, guys, for the best two weeks of my life!