Tuesday, January 31, 2012

New Kick

I go through phases. Who doesn't? Right now, my latest phase is (wait for it)....

Irish Music.

Weird, I know, considering I can't understand most of it. Haha, but it's so cool. =) It makes me smile.

Just thought I'd share.

Here, enjoy this:

I didn't get the website, sorry.

Sunday, January 29, 2012

Creatve Writing

English majors... Where to begin...

First, I need to say that I know not all English majors are this way, but almost all of the ones I've met have been. So when I am talking about English majors, don't be upset if you are an English major, you know me, and You are not like this. It's just a generalization.

I signed up for creative writing class. In my head, creative means to create, to come up with something new and original. To build something new from nothing. I always thought that the things you create came from you. I am very quickly learning that creative writing classes are not actually based on creativity. They're based on how much the teacher likes your work. There is no room for thinking outside of the box.

My teacher gives us two poems and then asks us which one we prefer. We each take turns and explain which poem we like and why. My teacher says "I prefer this poem, because it's a lot more specific." Everyone else picks that poem because "it's a lot more specific." My turn comes. I explain that I like the other poem because it isn't more "abstract" but different. It's talking about something different. What happens? I get put down, because my opinion is clearly wrong... who puts me down? My professor.

A lot of people might think I just chose the other poem to be different, but I genuinely liked the other poem. I chose the poem I did because it painted an image that I liked. The other poem painted an image, just not my first choice. When I read a poem, I read the entire poem. The beginning, the middle, and the end. The middle is a piece of a whole. The second line relates to the first line and the last line. It's a story. Exposition, rising action, denouement. Pieces of a whole. Context and text. I could be wrong, but poetry is a part of something, it's an attribute as well as an object. It's a piece to a larger whole. It's a small window into the life of the writer; it's a description of an image in a world different from our own; it's a story.

I read poems like I watch movies. Each line is a scene. Each stanza is a sequence. It's a story. A moving image. If you watch movies from different eras and nations, you can very much see how that society functions. Poetry is the same, context is important. A poem should be able to stand alone, but to fully understand the meaning, you need to know under what circumstances it was written.

You can't "unread" something. Once something has been described, it is now that. Once it's been called orange, you don't need to keep referring to it as something that is orange. You can do whatever you want from there! But my teacher insists that you can't. This is unacceptable to him:

The brown potatoes are dirty and taste like mold. 
I don't like eating those. 

He would say "I don't know what "those" is referring to. The second line is completely vague and meaningless." If I say "well, in context, the second line makes perfect sense and isn't vague." Then I get dirty looks and dumb comments from my class.

When my English class reads a poem, they look at each word individually. It's as if they're looking at a grocery list. Bananas, bread, milk, cheese. No story. No meaning. Just words. They look for the exact meaning of each word rather than the spirit.

We read one poem written by someone in my class. It was a break-up poem (I assume...). The writer talks about having a "cell" in their hand. They use it in reference to a cellphone, but then it could double as a small cage. I pointed out the double meaning and how it adds to the poem, in my opinion. My teacher then replied with "If you're going to start using multiple meanings, you have to use all  of the possible meanings. Cell could then also mean small living organism, and that just doesn't make sense." I replied with "In what world would we do that?" He gave me a dumb look.

Our professor gives us writing exercises. One was to write a list, going from very vague to very specific. He gave us suggestions, but also said we can chose to do whatever we want. His words were things like "authority" and "seasons." I did mine on a ladder. I thought I did brilliantly well! He gave me a 0... I had to talk to him about it, eventually I got 100% on it. He said my choice of word wasn't good. I wasn't sure what he meant by that, because a word is a word and I followed the directions as well as nailed the assignment!

I'm learning that this class is not for actual creative writing. I understand that there are forms we have to follow. I know that there are good suggestions and tips for successful writing. But I feel like the letter of the forms have overpowered the spirit behind the art. I feel like my teacher is far too focused on the how and not the why. And my class is so dang close minded, being in Utah county, that they can't form their own opinions and risk being different. (that is going to be a whole other post...)

Anyway, I have homework to get done. Enjoy this image:


I strongly suggest going to this site, it's funny. Mind you, I didn't go through the whole site, so I can't guarantee a G rating on it. Tread with care if you're concerned.

Saturday, January 28, 2012


I am sick of it. End of story. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind chyron (graphics) and I really like all the people. I think David is a fantastic director. Krystal is a great producer, and we have a lot of talented people doing other things. I just don't like spending so much of my time in the studio. It's not what I want to do for a profession, or even a fall back. I'd rather spend my time writing or being outside, or SOMETHING! Only a few games left though, so that's good!

Here's the fine work of BJ, on green. Highlights from tonight's game:

and here's something funny:

found it at this site:


Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Okay Guys

Hey, so construction is still very underway. Sorry. I've just had a lot going on right now.

Some of the things I've had going on:

School: It's going pretty alright. I'm keeping up on my homework (And so is Nathan). It's a first. OH SHOOT! I Just remembered I have to take a quiz. Be back in five.

And I missed my quizzes. Dang it. Oh well.

Other than that, school is going fine.

Work: I love where I work. It's really easy, and super interactive. I don't have to sit alone all day. I get to talk to people in person and I get to move around. Plus, I can switch between the Post Office and Campus Connection. So there is variety. =) Plus I have super cool coworkers. I like them all. Dawn definitely knows how to hire people. =)

Being Sick: SUCKED! I'm still getting over it. It sucked, though. I threw up a lot, and was down a lot...I still am a bit, but not nearly as much. Oh, but now I have growing pains...which suck. They hurt, a lot. Which is why they call them PAINS I spose.

I don't really know what else to say right now. Like I said, I'm still not feeling totally up to par, so I'm going to go finish my homework and then go watch HOUSE (because it aired again last night), and maybe Alcatraz (if it's on Hulu).

Anyway, Enjoy the confusing layout.

And this picture:

I found it on this site:


 They made me laugh. =)

Friday, January 20, 2012


Hey, Guess what! I still haven't finished remodeling my site. I don't really know what I want it to be like...so I'm figuring it out right now. Sorry for the mess. Feel free to wander around a bit, revisit the past. Don't forget your hard hat. Things may fall at random. Thanks!

Here, enjoy:

Silly Australians.

Tuesday, January 17, 2012


Okay, sorry. Construction is taking A LOT longer than anticipated. A lot has come up, and sometimes, I'm just super lazy. So bear with me for a bit longer, life will be better very soon.

In the mean time:

Thursday, January 12, 2012


You have now entered a construction zone. Please keep your hard hat on at all times, as letters and other foreign objects may come crashing down at any moment.

If you are reading this between today (1.12.12) and tomorrow (1.13.12), it may be fun to hit refresh and see if anything has changed. It won't be happening constantly, but I'm indecisive and things will change. Hopefully in the end, it'll look the way I want it to.

A lot has changed about me, so I figure the blog needs to change, too.

When the change has been fully made, there will be an open house and tour. Hang tight, and I'll be back.

Thanks for your patience!

Monday, January 2, 2012

God Complex

Two posts in one day. Must mean something is up. And there is.

Actually, I wanted to talk about something, or rather, someone that is on my mind right now. This someone is actually a person I was friends with. Note the past tense. We stopped being friends because he seems to have a god complex. This isn't a heroic one, like in Doctor Who. This is the type where he gets off thinking he can pass judgement.

In our lives, we pass judgement all the time. It's how we survive. We judge if something is safe, if we can trust someone, if we should eat that chocolate cake. As we get to know people, we judge their values based on ours. It's what we do. It's not a bad thing. It keeps us all safe.

While we all judge people, some of us actually do it wisely. We are open to others ideas. Instead of "WHAT? That's a dumb idea!" we think "interesting. I wanna try!" when something is different than what we are used to. Some people welcome it, some people tolerate it, others just suck at it.

No offense to anyone, but I happen to live in the epitome of the last group. Most people around here are very very close minded to people making their own decisions.For them, you either do what the BoM states, or you're screwed. It isn't everyone, just a vast majority.

This vast majority not only sucks at being open minded, but also sucks as practicing what they preach. They may tell you they whole-heartedly believe that everyone has agency and that you are doing what's best for you, but they will stop talking to you, or lecture you on your choices. These people would much rather follow the letter of the law rather than the spirit of the law. They love because someone told them to. They force false love rather than try to find good qualities in people, or just not love when it's not possible. They accept rules because someone has told them to, not because they feel it's the best thing for themselves.

Raised LDS, I know all the rules and laws, but that doesn't mean I follow them all yet. I try, but if I don't understand, then I can't help but not follow. Understanding is the entire point. If you don't do that, then you miss it!

I understand that it's important for women to be housewives, but I don't understand why I can't have a career right now. I'm still a kid, I have decades ahead of me. Maybe your situation is different. That's fine! If you live how you feel is best, then kudos to you! I admire that. But if you're at home because someone told you you had to be, then I'm sorry for you.

My friends drink. I don't have to. But I don't have to get angry at them and call them names because they make that choice. My friends smoke, as long as they don't hug me, I don't care. (I don't like smelling like smoke...) I have friends that go to church and genuinely believe it. That's fantastic for them! They are doing what they want and what they have found to work for them. They tried. Probably failed once or twice, but they try. They don't just blindly follow the leader.

My friend doesn't seem to understand this concept. He claims to, but he hasn't learned how to make his words match his actions yet. He says he's open minded, but then he tries to fix what isn't broken, and tell me I'm doing things wrong. Recently, his god complex got in the way of friendship, and he's lost it. I am a bit sorry, because he was quite cool and smart, but he wasn't smart enough to know that his coolness was limited to when he wasn't talking.

I don't need friends who can't support me and who judge my decisions based on their knowledge and life. It doesn't work that way. Someday, he'll grow up, but in the mean time...

My life. My rules.




Obviously I haven't blogged in a while. With reason, though. See, blogs are public, or at least mine is. Which is exactly how I want it. There are, however, people that tend to twist my words and then misquote me offline. It's really annoying. I stopped posting because I was really angry at people doing this to me. Whats the point in saying something if it'll only end up being used against me incorrectly? I figured if you guys couldn't handle being respectful of what I say, then why say anything to you guys? I was caught in a small dilemma because it is my choice to make this public knowing I cannot control who views it or what they do with the information I post, yet it was coming back to hurt me. I decided I just needed a break. I'm back, and no matter what you say, you can't stop me.

2011 sort of happened to me. It came and went so fast. I met a ton of neat people, and got beat down a lot by others. I felt helpless, and on top of the world. I watched sunsets and missed every dang sunrise. I got hurt and hurt others. This year, this year is going to be different. I'm going to have people meet me. I'm going to own this world and rock it so hard, Pluto will feel it. I'm going to watch the sunset and sunrise (metaphorically on that second one...I am not a morning person). I'm gonna probably get hurt, that's inevitable with me... I'm half made of glass. 

In 2011, if you made me cry, you better learn to pray. If you stood by when I needed help, good luck on your own. If you left any sort of mark on me in anyway, make sure you park in the garage. If you tried to run my life, put on some track shoes. I am so ready for this year to come, are you?

My life. My rules. Welcome to 2012, baby!