I realize that the title is a little click bait ish. So if you are here just to see what lessons I learned without all the fluff of paragraphs and explanation, you can scroll to the bottom. I listed them there just for you (because I too hate click bait articles that make me read a thousand words just to get it).
Here is a before photo of the area where I put the patio and fire pit:
The corner has never had grass. When the house was originally built, this is where the dirt was dumped that was going to be spread over the entire lawn so grass could be laid. It was uneven and full of...junk. It was an unsightly corner to say the least.
On a whim, I asked grandma if I could put a fire pit and patio back there. To my surprise, she said yes. I was so excited. I started that day.
The building part wasn't terribly exciting. In fact, it was really slow and painful. I only worked on Saturday mornings before the sun passed the trees. It was in those really early hours that I learned some important lessons.
1. Measure ten times, then measure again.
Funny story. The bricks I chose to lay were L shaped and formed rectangles when placed together Tetris style. I laid twenty rectangles side by side against the west fence. Then, in an attempt to make a square patio, I tried to lay twenty rectangles end to end on the south fence. If you can imagine this, you know that my technique would create an abnormally long rectangle...not a square. Part way down the south fence, we ran into a tree stump. So I took that moment to measure the west side and the south side. Turns out I thought about it completely wrong. I needed half as many bricks end to end. It seems obvious now, but before I measured, I was certain I did it right.
2. People who smash their thumbs aren't dumb.
Up until this summer, I had never smashed my own thumb with a hammer. I frequently wondered how someone could smash their own finger. Then I smashed my thumb with a rubber mallet while placing a brick. My first thought was "Ah, so that's what it's like." My second thought was "WHAT THE HECK!!" Now I know.
3. Marriage is more than playing house.
I bet you thought "well duh, Morg." It's okay if you did. I did. As you know, I didn't grow up in a two parent household. In fact, the few marriages I got to observe up close (I'm looking at you Caziers) seemed like "Happily Ever After" every day. I never saw them fight, or even disagree. It seemed like everything went perfectly smooth for them. I know that's not true, but I never saw proof of that. As I've gotten older and closer to marryin' age, it's been on my mind a lot. What does marriage look like? How does it work? Grandma is fiercely independent. I haven't seem a marriage team in action. As I built the patio, it made more sense. Richi was a huge help. He did a lot of the heavy lifting (by that I mean he did all of the heavy lifting). He helped me measure (and never disagreed when I insisted I was right). He let me use his 4Runner for hauling things, and he paid close attention to small details.
The thing is, I didn't need his help. I greatly wanted it, and appreciated it. The patio wouldn't be close to done if I did it alone. And that's when it clicked. Marriage isn't two people needing each other. It's two people wanting each other. That's when things get done. I am capable of building that fire pit. Richi is capable of building the fire pit. Together, though, we finished it quickly (relatively). I'm not sure if I'm making sense, but I do know that a family can be raised with one person, but it's so much nicer and can be done so much easier with two people.
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| This is what it would still look like if I had been working alone. Thanks Richi! |
Okay, so this isn't exactly a lesson. It's a duh moment again. It's still too soon to say we had fun building the patio, but it's not too early to say that we have enjoyed sitting around it as a family. We have tried pinterest tips (Note Kenz with the rake), we have told stories (I'm not allowed to after my story took half an hour), we have laughed at dumb jokes, and we have dropped many a hot dog into the fire. This is easily one of the best investments. We don't even have to force the kids to put their phones down. They just do it. And that's when we get to talk and laugh and have fun. This fire pit better last as long as our family does (which is forever).
After all that, here is the completed project! Solid as a rock and more fun than you can imagine!
As promised, here is a list of the points made:
1. Measure ten times, then measure again.
2. People who smash their thumbs aren't dumb.
3. Marriage is more than playing house.
4. Some of the best memories come from sitting around the fire.
